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The 3 types of pots and pans everyone should have, according to Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio

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Award-winning chef, restaurateur, and "Top Chef" judge Tom Colicchio weighs in on the difference between good and bad pots and pans.

Colicchio is also a spokesperson for Arnold Bread and America's Better Sandwich. Following is a transcript of the video.

Tom Colicchio: When it comes to pots and pans, buy the best you can afford. Think about pots and pans as an investment. They’re going to last a lifetime if you buy something high quality.

It's the transfer of heat, and that's what's really important. So, if it's something that’s flimsy, that transfer of heat happens too quickly and then the pan cools down. So you want to be able to maintain that heat level in the pan. That’s what’s really important is to retain that heat and, again, then to learn how to manipulate that heat. But that's why it's important to have really good, high-grade sauce pots or pots and pans.

I would rather have three that are really high quality than a set of 24 pots and pans that are cheap and flimsy. It makes a difference.

The big difference is stainless steel vs. aluminum. Stainless steel is better, it’s more durable. It conducts heat better. If you can get a copper sandwiched between stainless steel, that's even better. That’s, again, more expensive. There's a lot of — various manufacturers that make really high-quality pots and pans. Find one that you like. Make sure that the lids are tight fitting.

The big difference between aluminum and stainless steel is that stainless steel will stay flat where aluminum, over time will start to bow and start to, you’ll get pockets. So there is a big difference. But really, just find the best that you can afford. But again, if I were a young cook starting out, I’d get one sauce pot, one kind of larger stock pot, and one saute pan and that would be where I would start and then go from there.

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The first 17 apps you should download for your new iPhone 8 (AAPL)

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iPhone 8

You've managed to get your hands on a new iPhone 8 or iPhone 8 Plus, and now you need cool things to do with it.

The Tech Insider staff picked some of our favorite apps that show off the power and potential of Apple's superphone. 

This list includes both obvious choices you can find on the top charts, and lesser-known software that we use and love.

Let's check them out:  

SEE ALSO: Uber's bad year: The stunning string of blows that upended the world's most valuable startup

Foursquare is the best app for finding new spots and reading reviews from people who have been there.

Foursquare is free to download in the App Store.



VSCO is an excellent photo editing tool and social network.

VSCO is free to download in the App Store.



Google Photos uploads all of your pictures to the cloud — and it's free.

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If you run out of space on your iPhone, one easy solution is to upload all your photos to Google and then delete them from your phone.

Google Photos is free from the App Store



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Here's how the 'Rich Kids of Instagram' spent their summers

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Woman on a Yacht in the Sea

For the last four years, the "Rich Kids of Instagram" blog and Instagram account have been chronicling the escapades of the young and wealthy.

The summer vacations taken by those featured on the blog this year were filled with crystal-clear waters, yachts, and of course, private jets.

See how they spent their fortunes this season. 

SEE ALSO: You can buy a third of a Hawaiian island for $260 million — but there's a catch

Some swam in private pools in St. Barts.

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Others relaxed and enjoyed the view off the coast of Ibiza.

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Some adventurous travelers jumped into the waters near the island of Capri in Italy.

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Here are the world's top 10 most livable cities — and how much it costs to live there

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Melbourne Australia Carlton Gardens

Calling a concrete jungle home may not bring to mind images of comfort and serenity.

But certain cities around the world are exceptionally livable, according to the 2017 Global Liveability report from the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU).

To determine the rankings, the EIU evaluated 140 cities based on 30 factors across five categories: stability, healthcare, culture and environment, education, and infrastructure. Topics ranging from humidity to water quality to violent crime were taken into account when compiling the data.

In the top cities, recreational activities are easily accessible, crime rates are low, and infrastructure isn't overused, thanks in part to relatively low population density. Australia and Canada, where six of the top 10 cities were located, have some of the lowest population densities in the world, according to data from the World Bank.

Living with so many perks doesn't come cheap, however. The most livable cities aren't the most affordable. Many of the highest scores in the report went to mid-sized cities in wealthy countries.

For each city on the list, we found the average cost of renting a one-bedroom apartment in the center of town, utilities, and commuting, as well as the price of a cappuccino and a pint of domestic beer, according to global cost of living database Numbeo. All amounts are in US dollars and are current as of September 2017.

Below, check out what it costs on average to live in each of the top 10 most livable cities in the world.

SEE ALSO: The 30 countries that are best for your money, according to expats

DON'T MISS: Here's how much money you need to save to retire on a beach by age 40

10. Hamburg, Germany

Overall livability rating (out of 100): 95

Monthly costs:

Rent: $895.52

Utilities: $267.17

Commuter pass: $98.20

Cappuccino: $3.40

Domestic beer: $4.17



9. Helsinki, Finland

Overall livability rating (out of 100): 95.6

Monthly costs:

Rent: $1,138.75

Utilities: $162.95

Commuter pass: $65.11

Cappuccino: $4.31

Domestic beer: $7.14



8. Auckland, New Zealand

Overall livability rating (out of 100): 95.7

Monthly costs:

Rent: $1,252.57

Utilities: $134.80

Commuter pass: $146.12

Cappuccino: $3.29

Domestic beer: $6.58



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We visited one of the fastest-growing chicken chains that's taking over America — here's what it's like

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Zaxby's 19

For much of the country, Zaxby's is a mystery. 

It won't be for long, however — the chain is expanding aggressively. It opened a whopping 91 locations in 2016, and the chain has a growing cult following. 

Fans of the fast-casual chicken chain say it elevates the fried-chicken experience from the greasy depths of similar quick-service chains like KFC and Church's

On a recent journey to Richmond, Virginia, we decided to check out the chain and see if it lived up to its burgeoning cult status. 

SEE ALSO: We went to Red Lobster's $21.99 Endless Shrimp to see if it's really unlimited

DON'T MISS: We tried McDonald's, Wendy's, and Burger King's signature burgers — and the winner is unmistakable

After a day of dining at takeout-centric fried chicken joints, we found this Zaxby's to be large and spacious.



The interior had a vague sports bar vibe, but with big windows that added a welcoming family dining atmosphere.



There's no table service here, despite the extensive menu; orders are placed and picked up at the counter.



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The science of why you should add water to your whiskey

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The secret to enjoying a good whiskey? A dash of water.

Whiskey drinkers have been doing this for centuries to heighten certain flavors and reduce burn.

Science has two competing theories for why this works. One explanation suggests water traps bad flavors. Whiskey contains a compound called "fatty acid esters". These compounds interact with water in an interesting way. One end repels water molecules and the other end attracts it.

This dynamic could trap unpleasant flavors and smells. The second theory suggests water improves flavor. It involves a molecule called Guaiacol. Guaiacol gives your drink it's smoky, spicy aroma. Normally, a certain amount rises to the surface where you can smell it.

But adding water causes even more guaiacol to rise. So the trick is to find the right balance. Too much water, and your drink will taste watered down. No water, and you won't get the same smoky aroma. 

Most experts suggest a few drops but feel free to run some tests of your own.

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Mt. Everest is not the hardest mountain to climb — here's what makes K2 so much worse

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Vanessa O'Brien, the fastest woman to climb the highest peak on every continent and the first American and British woman to climb the second-highest mountain in the world, explains why K2 is a more difficult climb than Mt. Everest. Following is a transcript of the video.

So when comparing Everest versus K2, they are very, very different.

First, you have two different countries. You have Nepal versus Pakistan so I'd say technically it's more challenging to get to Pakistan to get the visas, the logistics.

You've got different tracks in, so the track into Pakistan to get to K2 base camp involves traveling over a glacier. A glacier is harder to climb, you've got mixed rock, which makes twisting an ankle very, very easy.

When you're going up to Everest Base Camp, you're just on a dirt trail so it's very, very easy. 

Also, when you're traveling on K2, you're packing your whole expedition and you're building tents along the way, when you're traveling to Everest Base Camp, you're staying at teahouses so you don't have to travel in tents.

When you're on the actual climb, K2 is shaped like a triangle so it's demanding 110% day one, whereas Everest, there's twists and turns, so it's not always climbing steep.

Weather is much more unpredictable on K2 and I would say the technical climbing on K2 is hard so Everest has the Hillary step, which everyone's heard about, that's one obstacle. But for the most part it's pretty — the paths are well laid-out because a lot of people climb Everest every year where K2, there is very few expeditions that climb because there's such an unpredictability of summits.

And it's more technical so, it's more of a mixed rock, ice, and alpine climb so you have places like House's Chimney and Black Pyramid, which are hard rock climbs in the middle of an alpine climb. So very, very different.

If I look statistically, there's a 40% chance of no summits in any one year so this is a really tough mountain. There's less than 400 summits overall compared to Everest's 7500 summits so just remarkably how much harder K2 is every season that presents itself.

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Stunning, award-winning photos from the world's largest photo competition

The next hottest housing market in America is this San Francisco micro-hood that's so obscure, most residents have never heard of it

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golden gate heights san francisco neighborhood 8805

Golden Gate Heights, a little-known enclave in San Francisco, has been named one of the hottest neighborhoods of 2017 by real-estate site Redfin.

Located on the outskirts of the Sunset District, the charming micro-neighborhood has no shops or restaurants. But it draws homebuyers with its affordability, suburban feel, and great views. A whopping 86% of homes in Golden Gate Heights sell above asking price, according to Redfin.

I moved to San Francisco two years ago and I'd never heard of Golden Gate Heights before. I recently set out for a day of exploration in the micro-neighborhood to see what the hype is.

SEE ALSO: Go inside the hottest neighborhood in San Francisco, where home prices have risen 75% in the last 5 years

When I told my office that Golden Gate Heights had been named one of Redfin's hottest neighborhoods of 2017, you could almost make out the record scratch sound effect.

Golden Gate Heights sounds like a realtor's attempt to rebrand an existing neighborhood with a pleasant-sounding moniker in order to lure prospective homebuyers, likeNew York's SoHa.

None of us had ever heard of it.



A quick search revealed that at least Google Maps thinks it's real. Golden Gate Heights is tucked between the popular Inner Sunset and Forest Hill neighborhoods on the west side.



The neighborhood is stretched across two of the tallest hills in San Francisco: Larsen Peak at Golden Gate Heights Park and Grandview Park. I wanted to go from one peak to the other.

Source: Wikipedia



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We visited gas-station rivals Wawa and Sheetz to see which does it better — and the winner is obvious

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The Capulets versus the Montagues.

Harvard versus Yale.

Britney versus Christina.

Among history's fabled rivalries, perhaps none is more fiercely contested than Wawa versus Sheetz.

In Pennsylvania and the surrounding states where these premium gas stations dominate highway pit stops, everyone has an opinion as to which is the convenience chain of choice.

To definitively settle this schism, we took it upon ourselves to journey to the heartland of the two rivals — the borderlands of Pennsylvania and New Jersey — and see which chain reigns supreme.

SEE ALSO: We went to Red Lobster's $21.99 Endless Shrimp to see if it's really unlimited

Our quest begins in the parking lot of a Wawa in south Phillipsburg, New Jersey, off Route 22. The gas pumps are plentiful and bustling with activity, but we're more interested in what's inside.



Wawa, with more than 720 locations in six states on the East Coast, is renowned for its high-quality yet inexpensive food. Walking inside, we find the vibe to be clean and professional, yet unassuming. Muted yellows and browns are the key colors, leading to a relaxed but often bland visual landscape.



It takes a few minutes to even comprehend the array of food options available at Wawa. The well-stocked prepackaged section is ambitious and diverse in scope. Even packaged food appears fresh — not as though it has been abandoned on the shelf for untold lengths.



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14 insider facts most airline workers know — and you probably don't

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Flight attendant drink service

No one has more insider knowledge about flying than airline workers.

To unearth 14 lesser-known facts about flying, Business Insider surveyed more than 80 airline workers including flight attendants, gate agents, ticket agents, and other airport customer service reps and scoured the web including Reddit and Quora for more.

Whether you want more attentive service or to avoid getting kicked off your flight, read on for the inside scoop:

SEE ALSO: 15 things everyone gets wrong about working for an airline, according to flight attendants and gate agents who do

SEE ALSO: Airline workers share 17 things they wish passengers would stop doing

You can't physically open a door mid-flight — though trying could get you kicked off the plane

Annette Long, a flight attendant with 13 years of experience, tells Business Insider that, though opening a door mid-flight is impossible to do, trying it will still get you into trouble. As we've seen in previous incidents, passengers who try to make a jump for it while the plane is in the air usually wind up restrained mid-flight and in handcuffs once the plane lands. In some cases, pilots will make an emergency landing to get the passenger off the flight.

"I don't make those decisions," Long says. "I convey the information to the cockpit and the chief flight attendant, and they make the decision about whether or not we're going to land and get someone off the plane.

"Most of the pilots say to us, 'If you've got a problem with them, I've got a problem with them,' and they will back us up 100%," Long says.



Airplanes aren't nearly as clean as they might look

As Business Insider previously reported, microbiologists have found tray tables to be the least hygienic surface on an airplane.

As one flight attendant writes on Reddit, people change their babies' diapers on their tray tables all the time. And then, not every tray table gets wiped thoroughly between each flight. 

What's more, "remember, they're using a rag to start row one, and when they end up in row 35, that rag has wiped a lot of tables," Long says.

The flight attendant writing on Reddit also says that many unsanitary incidents occur on the plane that passengers rarely see or consider, like accidents in the lavatory or a passenger's seat. "Just so you know, when you go to the bathroom and you're barefoot or you're in your socks, that's not water on the floor," Long says.

"It's just not the cleanest environment," she says.

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You can bring your e-cigs, but the plane won't take off with a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 on board

A few exploding items have been banned from airplanes in recent years, though some not in their entirety.

Last March, a Delta Air Lines flight was delayed at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after an e-cigarette belonging to a passenger ignited on board the flight.

But while the lithium ion batteries in e-cigarettes have shown a propensity to ignite if they are damaged, battery-powered portable electronic smoking devices are permitted on planes as long as they're not checked or being used.

Your exploding Galaxy Note 7, however, is a different story. These smartphone devices are completely banned by the Department of Transportation from air transportation to, from, or in the US.



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The best US cities to live in to escape the worst effects of climate change

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Portland Oregon

A safe haven sounds like a good idea right about now.

Somewhere warm, but not too warm; free from roof-toppling hurricanes and ground-rumbling earthquakes; close to a river or ocean, but far enough to avoid the threats of flooding and sea level rise.

Which places does that leave? According to climate scientists and urban planners, not a lot.

"The bottom line is it’s going to be bad everywhere," Bruce Riordan, the director of the Climate Readiness Institute at the University of California Berkeley, told Business Insider. "It’s a matter of who gets organized around this."

Still, there are some cities with a better chance of surviving the onslaught of a warmer planet, Vivek Shandas, an urban-planning professor at Portland State University, told Business Insider. 

"There are places that might at least temper the effects of climate change," he said.

Shandas is part of a research group studying this very question. When evaluating how prepared cities are for climate change, he and his team look at a handful of factors, including policy and politics, community organization, and infrastructure. The research so far indicates that the following locations could be your best bet over the next five decades — especially if you're investing in a home or property. 

SEE ALSO: The US will be unrecognizable by the end of this century

Seattle, Washington

The Pacific Northwest is the best overall US region for escaping the brunt of climate change, Shandas said.

Cities in the area aren't perfect — "they have other challenges," he said, but added that "their infrastructure tends to be newer and more resilient to major shocks." That's is key when it comes to coping with heat and rising water.

Seattle is one of the most "well-positioned" of these cities, Shandas said.



Portland, Oregon

Portland was the first US city to come up with a plan to prepare for climate change. The city's historic Climate Action Plan, created in 1993, is a set of policies and initiatives aimed at slashing the city's carbon emissions. The goal is to cut them 40% by 2030 and 80% by 2050.

Portland is also one of the only cities with a specific working group tasked with reducing racial and economic inequality— a key measure of a city's ability to cope with natural disasters and climate change. "Neighborhoods that are connected do better when [disasters] happen," Riordan said.



San Francisco, California

As one of the most recently developed cities in the US, San Francisco is better equipped to take on many natural disasters,  Shandas said. It also ranks second on a list of the 10 best cities for public transit, according to AllTransit, a ranking designed by two nonprofit research institutes. According to the measure, 98% of San Francisco's population lives within a half-mile of regularly-operating transportation, a key measure of the health of that piece of infrastructure.

"There are not many cities in the US that rank well in terms of infrastructure, but newer cities fare much better," Shandas said.



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Here's why managers should stop pushing their employees to achieve work-life balance

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Brad Stulberg, coauthor of "Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success," explains why it's more important for employees to know their limits than it is for them to achieve work-life balance. Following is a transcript of the video.

Brad Stulberg: Work-life balance, and this term "balance" gets thrown around quite a bit, and I'm not actually quite sure that balance is what everyone should be after. And I say that because to me balance implies having everything kind of in equal proportions in its place and I think the concern with balance is can that very quickly turn into just going through the motions, right? So I go to work, I hang out with my family, I watch TV, I exercise, and I repeat.

So to me it's not so much actually about striving for balance, but more so striving for self-awareness, to have a good sense of how people on your team are feeling and when they might need a break. So I don't necessarily think that there's anything wrong with going all in for periods of time. I think the issue is when people are pushed to go all in all the time, and they're going all in not based on their own volition.

And even when someone is going all in based on their own internal drive, a really good manager can see, "Hey Brad, you’ve been doing this for a week, that's okay, but after a month, as much as you’re into the work, if you really want this to be sustainable you should probably pull back."

I do think that there's a role for managers to prevent burnout, but I think it's less about encouraging a formulaic balance and more about trying to instill in your employees self-awareness to understand when they're pushing too hard or when they're pushing and they don’t really want to be.

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How to survive a new baby without destroying your marriage, according to a relationship psychologist and father of two

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dad with baby

Eli Finkel's take on parenting is perhaps best summed up in his description of his baby as a "puking piece of adorableness."

There was a time when he or his wife would want to spend the night out with friends; the other would send them off, no problem. Once their baby arrived and his wife would go out, Finkel said, he would now be solely responsible for this, well, puking piece of adorableness.

Finkel is a psychologist at Northwestern University and a professor at the Kellogg School of Management. In his new book, "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," Finkel both explains why modern marriage is so hard and offers some guidelines for strengthening your own relationship.

In one section, he describes how parenting can take a toll on a marriage, and admits that he was one of the 25% of men who suffer from postpartum depression. When he visited the Business Insider office in September, he said he was surprised — and somewhat dismayed — by how much having a kid changed his life.

To expectant parents, or to people who hope to one day have kids, he said the key to survival is adjusting your expectations.

Here's how Finkel described his own experience: "I just felt like everything that I had enjoyed doing in my life was gone, and replaced with a lack of sleep. I did love my child of course, but the way that it affected my life was depressing for me."

Finkel's personal experience affected his marriage, putting some distance between him and his wife. It took a while for them to reestablish intimacy. Adjusting their expectations helped.

In the book, Finkel describes a post-baby vacation with his wife that wasn't nearly as enjoyable as it used to be. On that trip, they decided to stop shooting for the stars. He writes:

"Seeking bliss through the marriage — particularly looking to each other for assistance with personal growth and self-expression — just made things worse. So we just stopped trying. We put our heads down and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

"That approach worked. The disappointment became less acute. And, eventually, we rediscovered each other."

By the time he and his wife had a second kid, Finkel told Business Insider, he and his wife had "recalibrated":

"Both of us understood that this isn't going to be the time when we're going to enjoy each other in the marriage the way we used to. This isn't going to be the time when our spouse is going to be as attentive to us and as responsive. This isn't going to be a time when we're really going to have that much alone, well-rested time together. And how disappointed are we going to be about that?"

The transition to having a second baby went much more smoothly.

Other scientists have studied the transition to parenting, and the "buffers" that protect against a decline in marital satisfaction. According to Alyson Fearnely Shapiro, then at the University of Washington, two of those buffers are "being aware of what is going on in your spouse's life and being responsive to it" and "approaching problems as something you and you partner can control and solve together as a couple."

The takeaway here is that you can never fully prepare for having a kid — but you can prepare for your life to change in some capacity, and you can talk to your partner about how you'll each help each other through the low points.

SEE ALSO: A relationship psychologist has bad news for couples who plan on being married for life

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A family therapist says you are not 'responsible for your kids'

The 10 best places to live in America

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Fishers, Indiana

Fishers, Indiana is the best place to live in the US, according to a new ranking by Money.

The list sought to identify locations that provide its citizens with a comfortable life and looked to factors like job opportunity, quality schools, and affordable homes.

But it also aimed pinpoint the lesser known places. To do that, Money restricted its list to places with a "population of 10,000 to 100,000, to avoid the biggest cities while shining a light on smaller towns and affordable suburbs."

The fast-growing suburb of Fishers, Indiana with ample job opportunities and quality schools, topped the list.

Read on to see the 10 best places to live in America.

SEE ALSO: Take a tour of Harvey Mudd College, the tiny STEM 'bootcamp' outside Los Angeles whose graduates out-earn Harvard and Stanford alums

10. Bozeman, Montana

Population: 42,435

Median household income: $49,303

Average commute time: 13 minutes



9. Schaumburg, Illinois

Population: 77,557

Median household income: $73,824

Average commute time: 28 minutes



8. North Arlington, New Jersey

Population: 15,563

Median household income: $73,885

Average commute time: 28 minutes



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

5 things you never knew about coffee

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There’s no better way to start your day than with a cup — or two or three — of your favorite coffee. It wakes you up, keeps you alert, and helps you stay motivated when that afternoon slump hits. And National Coffee Day, September 29, is the perfect opportunity to show your appreciation for this beloved beverage.

To celebrate, go to Dunkin' Donuts on Friday to get a free medium hot coffee with the purchase of a medium or larger hot coffee. Help spread the coffee love by sharing your free drink with a lucky friend, coworker, or even a stranger. 

Even if you drink coffee daily, there are still many things that you may not know about it. Here are some facts about coffee that you can enjoy year-round.

1. The first webcam watched a coffee pot

The first webcam came about in 1991 in the most relatable way possible for coffee lovers. Dr. Quentin Stafford-Fraser and Dr. Paul Jardetzky of the University of Cambridge set up a camera with software they created to monitor their coffee pot in another room. This way, no one would have to get up to physically check on it or show up and find the pot empty. Once webcams were capable of connecting to the internet, the Trojan Room coffee pot was broadcast across the web. It was an international celebrity until its retirement in 2001.

2. This bean is really a fruit

Coffee may typically be referred to as a “bean,” but it is actually part of a fruit. The “bean” that is eventually harvested and used to make coffee is the seed of a red, cherry-like fruit that grows on trees.

3. Coffee was originally eaten, not sipped

59bfe90c52d8fb3a008b499f 1536 1152Since coffee comes from a fruit, it should be no surprise that drinking it was not the original way it was consumed. Tribes in Africa once mixed animal fat with ground up coffee berries to make a type of paste. They rolled it into a ball and ate it to give the members of the tribe energy.

4. The longer you roast a coffee bean, the less caffeine it has

While many people believe that the strong flavor of a dark roast means that the coffee has more caffeine, the truth is that the longer you roast a bean — and the darker it becomes — the less caffeine it contains. The difference is slight, but by volume, light roasts contain more caffeine than dark ones. Whichever roast you prefer, you can get a free medium hot coffee when you buy a medium or larger hot coffee at Dunkin' Donuts on National Coffee Day.

5. The concept of tipping originated in a coffee house

Today it’s expected to leave a tip after a meal. The practice of leaving gratuity wasn’t always the norm, though. It's believed that the word “tip” originated in a coffee house in London in the 17th century. Before sitting down, visitors of the coffee house would put money in a container that had a sign reading “To Insure Promptness” (TIP). The idea was that guests would receive their coffee sooner based on their tip.

On Friday, September 29 make sure to get your free medium hot coffee when you buy a medium or larger hot coffee. Learn more at Dunkin' Donuts.

This post is sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts. 

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There's an easy way to strengthen a struggling marriage — and too many people ignore it

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Happy couple

Reading Eli Finkel's new book, "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," I had a moment where I felt part enlightened, part deflated, part empowered. Suffice it to say it was weird.

I'd reached the point in the book where Finkel, who is a psychologist at Northwestern University and a professor at the Kellogg School of Management, talks about ways to strengthen a struggling marriage — temporarily or permanently. The bit that really got me was Finkel's simple directive to ask less of your relationship.

This counterintuitive piece of advice makes sense in the context of Finkel's overall philosophy on relationships.

"All-or-nothing marriage" is the term Finkel and colleagues developed to describe modern relationships. We're placing more expectations on our relationships than ever before — we want our partner to be our best friend, our lover, our intellectual sparring partner, maybe our co-parent — while simultaneously investing less time and energy in the relationship. The inevitable result is that we're disappointed.

Finkel says sometimes you'll have the wherewithal to spend time and energy perfecting your partnership so it matches your ideal vision. Other times, you won't. Maybe you just had a baby; maybe you're super stressed at work; maybe there's a health crisis going on in your family.

Asking less of the relationship means adjusting your expectations of what your partner is capable of doing for you.

When he visited the Business Insider office in September, Finkel said, "There's no rule that says you absolutely have to ask [certain] things of your marriage. We get to choose that we're going to expect the marriages to do [some] sorts of things, but not [some] other sorts of things. And our spouse also gets a choice."

He went on: "If you find yourself chronically disappointed in one element of your marriage, one of the really good ways of dealing with that is to think about: Is it really essential that I try to meet this need in particular through the marriage? … There are many things we look to our partner to help us meet that we could just as easily look [for] somewhere else."

That is to say: Maybe your partner doesn't care to have philosophical debates late into the night — they'd rather be sleeping or watching TV. Or, maybe they're not the type to plan a big bash for every one of your birthdays, even though you'd love them to be.

Instead of feeling disappointed in these situations, accept them for what they are. Most importantly, try to get those needs met elsewhere. Maybe you've got a coworker who absolutely loves to talk existentialism. Maybe your childhood best friend would be delighted to be your party planner. Your partner doesn't have to your everything.

This isn't the most romantic idea. I kind of hated it when I first read about it. But it's a realistic — and freeing — approach to one of the hardest relationships you'll ever form.

SEE ALSO: How to survive a new baby without destroying your marriage, according to a relationship psychologist and father of two

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NOW WATCH: RELATIONSHIP EXPERT: Trying to meet your partner’s needs is 'the most horrific advice I could imagine'

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella once gave up his green card for love (MSFT)

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Satya Nadella

In December 1992, future Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella married his wife, Anu, who still lived in their native India.

And then, things got complicated. 

"It was a happy time, but the complications of immigration would soon prove a challenge," Nadella writes in his new book, "Hit Refresh," which officially releases on Monday. 

At the time, Nadella had just started as a technical evangelist at Microsoft's Redmond headquarters. He had been in the United States since he entered graduate school in 1988. Importantly, he enjoyed permanent resident status, meaning he had a "coveted" green card. 

Following the wedding, Nadella intended to bring Anu over to the US to live with him. The problem was, the immigration authorities rejected Anu's visa application — there was a long waitlist for the spouses of permanent residents, Nadella writes. She was able to get a short-term tourist visa, but had to return to India before long. 

Microsoft's immigration lawyer suggested an ingenious but extremely risky manuever to circumvent that waitlist. If Nadella gave up his green card, he could reapply for a H1B skilled worker visa. Unlike a green card, an H1B visa is temporary and must be renewed. However, H1B workers could bring over spouses, no waiting required.

"Such is the perverse logic of this immigration law," writes Nadella.

So in June 1994, a year into this mess, Nadella went to the US embassy in Delhi and asked to give back his green card to a "dumbfounded" clerk. "Miraculously, it all worked," writes Nadella, and the family was reunited. Nadella would go on to eventually obtain his American citizenship, which he holds today.

However, the story has kind of a funny postscript: Nadella's unconventional immigration move did not go unnoticed by his colleagues at Microsoft.

"What I didn't expect was the instant notoriety around campus," writes Nadella. "'Hey, there goes the guy who gave up his green card.'" 

More recently, Nadella has engaged President Donald Trump on H-1B reform, pushing to tamp down on loopholes in the system and making it easier for companies like Microsoft to bring over qualified talent.

SEE ALSO: Before he was Microsoft's CEO, a baby-faced Satya Nadella pitched Excel to developers in a 1993 telecast

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Mark Zuckerberg is getting slammed after picking a side in the epic Philly cheesesteak battle (FB)

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Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg sparked controversy during the most recent stop on his whirlwind tour of the US. 

On Sunday evening, Zuckerberg visited Pat's King of Steaks, a legendary Philadelphia restaurant known for its cheesesteaks. 

"Traveled all the way to Philadelphia for the best cheesesteak in the land," Zuckerberg said in a Facebook post.

Philly.com reported that the Facebook founder spent $66 on six sandwiches with Cheez Whiz and fried onions. According to the Pat's night manager, Zuckerberg used the correct term — "Whiz wit" — to order the Cheez Whiz-topped sandwiches. 

While Zuckerberg apparently didn't make any missteps while ordering, the question of who has the "best cheesesteak in the land" is a hotly debated one — especially in Philadelphia. 

The top comment on Zuckerberg's photo from Pat's reads: "oh man... people are going to blow up the comments on the best cheesesteak place." 

Some people saw the pick as a jab at nearby cheesesteak rival Geno's: 

Others demanded that Zuckerberg visit Jim's, another Philly cheesesteak spot that opened in 1939: 

And, some said that a true great Philly cheesesteak must be found elsewhere: 

Zuckerberg has been documenting his quest to visit all 50 states in the US this year on Facebook. While the Facebook founder has insisted that the aggressive community outreach isn't a political ploy, rampant speculation about the CEO's political aspirations has continued unabated. 

SEE ALSO: NFL ratings slump as Trump urges boycotts — and it could be terrible news for Buffalo Wild Wings

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Students can now major in 'medical plant chemistry' — or marijuana — at a Midwestern university

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marijuana tweed canopy growth

• Students at Northern Michigan University can now major in medicinal plant chemistry.

• The school created the program in response to growing demand for trained analytical chemists in the marijuana industry.

• Students will not smoke marijuana as part of their coursework.

A small college in the Midwest has launched a program in of its chemistry department that gives new meaning to the phrase "higher education."

Northern Michigan University is offering a medicinal plant chemistry program — effectively, a major in marijuana — that will prepare students for careers in the burgeoning marijuana industry. It's the first degree of its kind at a four-year undergraduate college, CBS Detroit reports.

The school hopes to become a major pipeline for the legal marijuana business, which employs between 165,000 and 230,000 Americans— about as many people as there are dental hygenists working in the US.

"The need for this is so great. You go to some of these cannabis industry conferences and everyone is talking about how they need labs, they need labs," Brandon Cangield, an associate chemistry professor at NMU, told CBS Detroit. "Or the bigger operations are trying to set up their own labs in house and they need trained analysts. And the skill set required to perform these analysis is perfectly matched with an undergraduate level education."

northern michigan university marijuana degree program

Students will take classes in chemistry, plant biology, and business entrepreneurship, and complete a capstone research project involving "experimental horticulture" and "instrumental analysis of natural products," according to the Northern Michigan University website.

There won't be much "hands on" experience, however. Cangield told CBS Detroit the school will not grow marijuana, but that could change if laws around cultivation become more flexible.

So far, 12 students have enrolled in the program at NMU. The head of the school's chemistry department told WXYZ ABC 7 he expects that number to double or triple by next fall semester.

Michigan voted to legalize medical marijuana use in 2008. There are over 218,000 residents holding medical marijuana cards in the state, which is up 76% since 2012.

SEE ALSO: Marijuana can be covered in pesticides, fungi, and mold — even if it's legal

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