So maybe you don't think you have the "ideal body," but are you actually overweight?
By calculating your body mass index (BMI), you can find out once and for all whether you should lose — or put on — some pounds.
Produced by Matt Johnston and Alex Kuzoian. Special thanks to Josh Neufeld.
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Falling in love is like a drug.
It's a phase marked by "intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy," Scientific American writes. You idealize your partner, everything is easy and effortless, you love, and you feel loved in return. Your similarities are limitless, and your differences are celebrated.
"But then life happens," says relationship psychologist Peter Pearson. "You start living with somebody, and the differences you didn't see when you lived separately and only saw each other on your best behavior begin to show up."
Friction begins. Your tolerance level for messiness might be different from your partner's, or they might have a different way of relating to time from yours. It turns out that you don't have "one life," nor are you "one unit." You are indeed two separate individuals.
Differentiation is the process of dealing with that unavoidable fact.
In another interview, Pearson's wife and Couples Institute cofounder Ellyn Bader described how the high-tension phase of differentiation works:
People have to come to terms with the reality that "we really are different people. You are different from who I thought you were or wanted you to be. We have different ideas, different feelings, different interests."
Differentiation has two components. There is self-differentiation: "This is who I am and what I want." This refers to the development of an independent sense of self: to know what I want, think, feel, desire ...
The second involves differentiation from the other. When this is successful, the members of the couple have the capacity to be separate from each other and involved at the same time.
While it's part of a "healthy evolution" of a relationship, Pearson says, differentiation certainly doesn't feel good at first. It's a long process of working through differences and bringing up when those differences are bugging you.
It requires some counterintuitive communication skills — namely, expressing curiosity.
Pearson gives an example from earlier in his and Bader's marriage. Bader has always been neater than he is, and that difference started showing itself when they were living together; he often left his shoes and newspapers in disarray.
In such a situation, you need some very careful questions. When your wife tells you that you're a slob, instead of getting defensive, you need to get inquisitive.
"Curiosity is counterintuitive," Pearson says. It's important to ask precise, thoughtful questions, like: How does my being a slob affect you? How much of a slob am I on your slob scale? When I leave things out, what does that symbolize toyou?
The answers grant greater understanding of your partner's perspective.
Pearson says three qualities will help you get there: patience, curiosity, and a willingness to tolerate tension. You need to have patience with yourself and your partner, because there are going to be some stumbles. You need to be curious, because that's how you begin to understand who your partner is as an individual. And you need to tolerate tension, because things get tense when you bring up differences.
But when you make it to the other side, you'll have a more resilient, mature relationship. Like Bader says, you can be separate from each other — and involved at the same time.
SEE ALSO: Psychologists Say You Need These 3 Compatibilities To Have A Successful Marriage
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If you're wearing the wrong belt, you'll really cheapen your entire look.
There are three things to remember in order to keep your leather-wear on point.
First: your belt should match your shoes. Black shoes means a black belt, brown shoes means a brown belt, etc. You get the picture.
Second, the bigger your belt buckle, the most casual the belt is. No one's wearing a Western belt buckle with a nice suit.
And third, try and buy soft leather. To test this out, just (lightly!) scratch the back of your belt with a finger nail. If your finger moves easily and leaves a small line, that's soft leather. If your finger gets stuck right away, it's hard leather.
If you remember these simple rules, you'll manage to avoid disasters like this:
Here's what you should look for instead.
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Looking for gadgets? Here Are 15 Hi-Tech Timepieces You'll Actually Want On Your Wrist
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These past few weeks, temperatures in the US have plummeted.
Some states are even living in conditions where it's colder than Mars.
So as people bundle up in preparation for the miserable weather, we found ways for everyone to stay warm and dry despite the nastiness outside.
Here are 12 hacks to help you keep warm until spring.
It may be easier to text in gloves, but your digits will be much warmer in mittens. When they're made of the same material, mittens offer more warmth since fingers have skin-to-skin contact with each other and can share body heat.
Mittens also tend to have a smaller surface area than gloves, which reduces heat loss, so when in doubt, always choose mittens.
Cotton clothes and socks are the absolute worst things you can wear during the winter, because cotton holds moisture and loses its insulating properties. If you sweat under your jacket, get wet from the snow, or if there's any moisture in the air, the cotton will quickly absorb it and keep it close to your skin, making you feel even colder.
Merino wool or polypropylene socks are a much better way to go since these fabrics wick moisture away from skin. Wool in particular is great because it suspends the moisture in the weave, and can absorb almost 1/3 of its own weight before making you feel cold or wet.
And for those who don't have wool socks (or don't want to go out in the cold to buy them), an easy hack is to put your socks on and then slip your feet into plastic bags. It looks weird, but it will keep your feet really dry and warm.
Salt and sand can help when your car gets stuck in the snow, but kitty litter will also work in a pinch to give you traction. Shovel as much snow and ice as possible out from the path of your tires, and then put a liberal amount of cat litter around and under the tire.
Then just rock your car back and forth, switching from drive to reverse carefully, until you get unstuck.
A lot of heat escapes through windows, unnecessarily increasing utility costs. For an easy way to insulate your window while still letting light in, use large bubble wrap and an Exacto knife.
You don't even need tape or glue — just mist water onto your window with a spray bottle, push the flat side of the wrap against the window and it will stay put and keep your room insulated for months.
Another pro-tip is to call around to furniture and/or department stores to see if they have any large bubble wrap that they're going to throw out or that you can buy on the cheap. They're usually swimming in the stuff.
Ceiling fans are not just there to cool you off in the summer — most fans have a setting that allows them to spin clockwise on low to recirculate warmer air trapped near the ceiling towards the floor.
You'll be shocked at how much warmer the room will get.
Once the snow starts to melt, shoes quickly become wet and are hard to dry. Most people think to put them near a heat source, but this can have the unwanted effect of shrinking your shoes.
Instead, stuff wet shoes with newspaper. It will absorb the moisture quickly, though you might have to replace the newspaper a few times depending on how drenched your shoes are. You can also wrap the outside with the newspaper and secure with a few rubber bands.
Coming outside to a frozen windshield or ice on your stairs is one of the worst ways to start the day. But there are homemade solutions that can help prevent this from happening.
For car windows and windshields, mist a 3:1 mixture of distilled vinegar and water onto the glass before a storm or icy weather hits. It will keep ice from forming on your windows, and you can also spray the mixture on already ice-covered windows to melt it quickly.
To keep your stoop or sidewalk from becoming icy, make a brine treatment 24-hours ahead of a winter storm with salt dissolved in hot water. Pour a thin layer onto steps and sidewalk to make snow easy to remove, and keep an ice layer from forming.
Shoveling snow is one of the worst winter tasks, so don't make it harder on yourself by not properly preparing. Rubbing vegetable oil, paraffin wax, or cooking spray onto your shovel ahead of time will keep the snow from sticking, and allow you to shovel faster and easier.
It's super easy to fix sweatshirt or sweater pilling with a cheap razor.
Just lightly run the razor against the fabric where pilling occurs, and the razor will shave off the small balls of fiber without harming the material so your warmest clothes will be ready to wear in public again.
Before climbing into bed, fill a water bottle with hot water and stick it under your covers. It'll warm the sheets, and can be left safely in bed all night long for added warmth.
Take this hack to the next level by wrapping your pajamas around the bottle and sticking them under the covers before putting them on.
You could buy winter tires for your bike, but those are expensive. Instead, take zip ties and stagger them around your current wheels roughly a half an inch apart and snip off the excess with scissors.
They'll give you extra traction when biking around slippery roads and are easy to remove come spring.
A friend of mine with poor circulation swears by these during the winter. The air-activated heat packs are safe, odorless, and can provide heat for 10 hours if you're jogging, tailgating, hiking, or just commuting to work.
You can also make your own by sewing together a fabric pouch filled with rice, and warming it up in the microwave before leaving the house.
SEE ALSO: 31 Things Every New Yorker Should Do This Winter
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Mercedes unveiled its futuristic, self-driving Mercedes-Benz F 015 concept Jan. 5 at the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
The F 015 can be operated autonomously or manually. When the vehicle is in fully driverless mode, the four motorized lounge chairs can be rotated to allow face-to-face conversations. When required for manual operation, the driver's chair swivels back to face forward.
Video courtesy of Mercedes-Benz
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Jobs in science, technology, engineering, and math are growing faster than in any other sector.
In fact, STEM jobs are expected to expand 1.7 times more quickly than non-STEM professions between 2008 and 2018, according to estimates by the US Department of Commerce.
Analysts at the personal-finance site WalletHub looked at the country's 100 largest metropolitan areas to determine which had the best job markets for people in STEM occupations.
They considered factors like job openings per capita, percentage of STEM workers, STEM employment growth, unemployment rate, annual median wage, and housing affordability to determine their rankings.
According to WalletHub's analysis, many of the country's best cities for STEM professionals are in the South and West.
STEM workers in Houston, for example, have an annual median wage of $79,589, twice the median wage for STEM professionals in Honolulu.
Here's WalletHub's list of the top 10.
1. Houston
2. Austin, Texas
3. Raleigh, North Carolina
4. Denver
5. Omaha, Nebraska
6. Seattle
7. Oklahoma City
8. Salt Lake City
9. Columbus, Ohio
10. Cincinnati
WalletHub also shared the 10 worst cities for STEM professionals.
San Jose, California, which probably missed out on a spot in the top 10 because of the high cost of living in Silicon Valley, has 12 times the number of STEM job openings found in North Port, Florida, which fell in third-to-last place on the list.
91. Lakeland, Florida
92. (tie) El Paso, Texas
92. (tie) Stockton, California
94. Cape Coral, Florida
95. Deltona, Florida
96. Oxnard, California
97. Fresno, California
98. North Port, Florida
99. Riverside, California
100. Miami
SEE ALSO: In San Francisco, $1,280 A Month Will Get You Only A Tiny 280-Square-Foot Apartment
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There's nothing better than a board game to break up the monotony of a weekend indoors or a family gathering, but Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit get old after awhile.
This amazing flowchart from Silver Oak Casino should help solve that issue and inspire you to try a new game. Chances are, you even have some of these stuffed in the back of a closet. Thanks to our friends at Business Insider Australia, who passed this chart along.
SEE ALSO: How To Use Math To Win At Monopoly
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Temperatures have dropped below freezing in North America, which means that it's time to think about heading south for a warm weather vacation.
We recently ranked the Best Caribbean Islands, but it can still be difficult to determine which island is best for you.
From family-friendly locales to romantic island getaways, here are the best Caribbean islands for every type of traveler.
Martinique combines the romantic sensibilities of the French with the natural beauty of the Caribbean.
The French island has secluded white sand beaches, luxury resorts, and enough privacy to make it an ideal honeymoon spot.
Just south of Florida, the Bahamas are one of the most accessible island countries from the US. They're also one of the most family-friendly countries, with tons of all-inclusive resorts.
The most famous resort is The Atlantis, which has its own water park, aquarium, movie theater, kids' club, game room, and dolphin cay.
Old San Juan is one of the best places for nightlife in the Caribbean, which means that it's great for singles. Nightlife in the historic walled city starts late: The clubs start hopping with salsa, Latin, or rock music after people emerge from their late dinners.
But many of the big hotels around San Juan, and the rest of Puerto Rico, have their own hot restaurants, clubs, and casinos.
The founder of Moguls Mobile and FUBU, Daymond John, explains the only regret each and every entrepreneur will ever have.
Produced by Will Wei and Jason Gaines.
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Venture Capitalist Baline Wesner and wife Alexa Wesner are selling their ‘floating box house,’ in Austin, Texas for an undisclosed price, reports Curbed.
Designed by architect Peter Gluck, the contemporary home uses glass walls to seamlessly integrate into the beautiful surroundings.
The incredible 10,563 square-foot home has 7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, a guest house, and once even hosted President Obama.
Although the price is undisclosed, it is estimated that the owners are looking for an offer "in the $20 million range," according to Curbed.
Laura Gottesman of Gottesman Residential Real Estate has the listing.
A bizarre video has emerged of a wasp and a tarantula having a deadly wrestling match in Congress, Arizona.
The footage, shot by a resident in August, shows a tarantula-hawk wasp attacking a tarantula by flipping it on its back and stinging it so it becomes paralyzed. The wasp can then be seen dragging the spider into the bushes to, according to reports, lay eggs in its abdomen.
"I came across these two giants fighting in a desert wash in Arizona a few hours after a rain while looking for rattlesnakes," the filmer later wrote online. "I've seen this a few times, but have never been able to film it."
Produced by Jason Gaines. Video courtesy of Associated Press.
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Designed by Steven B. Wheeler, the Space Jacket is a lightweight thermal jacket that was made for space enthusiasts — but instead of being just a typical replica space jacket, it is a “completely wearable and well-suited for space.”
Wheeler, a long time NASA fan, designed the jacket as a tribute to the legacy of American spaceflight.
"I wanted it to embody everything I loved about the space program, and to eventually serve as an actual flight jacket for present-day astronauts on missions to the ISS (International Space Station)," Wheeler wrote on Betabrand.
The jacket was even modeled to look like the exterior of a Space Shuttle with quilted lines of stitching that resemble the paneled surface of a spacecraft.
The inside of the jacket is lined with nylon taffeta, which helps to retain radiant body heat and looks like the “foil” multi-layer insulation used on the exterior of satellites.
The insulation in the jacket is Primaloft Sport, which is a ultra-efficient synthetic insulation that is used to keep a person warm and dry even in extreme conditions.
The outer layer is made from Tyvek, a light, breathable, and resilient material made from high-density polyethylene fibers, and was modeled after the EVA (extra-vehicular activity) spacesuits worn by astronauts during actual spacewalks.
And for true NASA-enthusiasts, the Space Jacket has a replica of the STS-53 shuttle mission patch, the infamous NASA “worm” logo, and an American flag shoulder patch.
Needless to say, this jacket would be the perfect thing to take with you on those possible future space travel expeditions— or just to use on a really chilly day.
The Space Jacket was successfully funded through Betabrand’s Think Tank crowdfunding campaign. It will cost $265, and is expected to ship in March 2015.
For more information about the ‘Space Jacket,’ check out the website here.
SEE ALSO: The 3 Kinds Of Boots Men Need For Winter
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The documentary feature "ART AND CRAFT," which was codirected by Sam Cullman and Jen Grausman, follows the story of American painter Mark Landis, who was exposed in 2008 for producing forgeries of famous artworks.
Since he donated the pieces to more than 45 museums, technically he has not committed any crime. Landis is a complicated and endearing character. He suffers from schizophrenia and views himself as a philanthropist.
The film has been shortlisted for an Academy Award. In addition to its theatrical run, it was recently released digitally. We spoke with the directors, who shared their take on this riveting story.
How did you persuade Landis to be in the film?
When we were first exposed to Mark Landis' story, we imagined he might not be the most forthcoming subject. His exposure was still unfolding and it seemed certain that a man in his position would never share his secrets or tricks. But from our very first conversations and through to completion of the film, Landis proved surprisingly open and transparent.
After first spending some number of hours on the phone getting to know each other, we sent Landis DVDs of our past works so he could vet us. It turns out that in addition to his deep knowledge about art and art history, Landis is also a huge movie buff. Soon thereafter, he invited us down to Mississippi to start filming. On the first shoot, Landis gave us a major interview and we also filmed him buying art supplies and later making forgeries. By the second visit, we were filming him giving them away as a "philanthropist."
In retrospect, Landis' openness to the film and our endless inquiries about his past, his process, and his complex motivations make perfect sense. Diagnosed as a teenager with schizophrenia and multiple behavioral disorders, in the 1970s, Landis had endured a lifetime of marginalization as a person living with mental illness. In many ways, his 30-year con had become a means to change all that, to connect with the world, in control and on his own terms. We were an extension of that process, and Landis eagerly welcomed our company and the opportunity to tell his story.
If he had sold his pieces, how much would they be worth?
It's hard to imagine what Landis' fakes would be worth if sold or auctioned off as the real thing. Over his 30-year "career," he knocked off an amazing range of artists and styles that includes 15th-century religious icons, Picasso, and even Walt Disney-animation cells.
And even if we could estimate the perceived value of these objects, Landis was a notoriously bad record keeper, and to this day we still don't know how many works he has made overall. We do know, however, that Landis rarely copied major works by major artists. He tended to copy lesser works by well-known figures — or key works by artists outside of the canon. Still, he probably could have made a fortune.
In one segment in the film, Mark explains that one piece, an academic drawing of which he's made many variations, is "probably worth about a million dollars."
What's your takeaway from making the film?
What makes documentary work so exciting is the sense of discovery at the center of the process. It forces you to stay on your toes, remain open to new experiences, and to be flexible at all costs, so that the work gains depth when challenged by new information, rather than fall apart. All this was absolutely the case — and reinforced, even — in the making of "ART AND CRAFT."
The film examines the curious story of a prolific art forger who isn't in it for the money, but chooses instead to donate his work to museums. We began shooting at the very moment Landis’ 30-year ruse was exposed, and initially imagined a documentary that would highlight the cat-and-mouse chase between a forger and his pursuer — a set-up that also positioned the film to explore core art-world questions about provenance, authorship, and the way creative work is valued in the marketplace.
But once we met Landis and observed him confronting his exposure and his legacy, we soon understood that the film would have to prioritize the more universal and human themes that had emerged. We still had a film about authenticity and identity, but, inspired by our main character, "ART AND CRAFT" had outgrown its art-caper foundations in a way that felt right for this story. And besides, for a film about a forger, it should come as no surprise that things are not always as they seem.
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Cool stuff doesn't have to be expensive.
A Reddit thread asked for the coolest products for under $25.
We chose our favorites.
The tablets last for about an hour and alter your taste buds so that anything sour tastes sweet.
"Eat a whole lemon like it's an orange. Taste pineapple like you've never tasted. Enjoy pomegranate, persimmons, sour patch kids, sour cherry bombs, sour grapes, like you've never enjoyed before," writes piyokochan.
Buy a pack for $14.95 here.
"Drink from basically any water source with the straw, fill containers of unfiltered or gross water and drink from them on the go," writes AestheticalGains. "If you're an outdoors person, hiker, backpacker, or survivalist, they're a must."
Get it on Amazon for $20.
"Got it for $7," writes FlamesFanatic. "His name is Septimus Prime."
You can buy your very own here.
"You put a bunch of stuff in, turn it on, go to sleep, and when you wake up you have a delicious meal," writes Ghost17088.
Amazon has a 3-quart device for $21.
"It basically turns just about any surface into a speaker," writes AlwaysClassyNvrGassy.
Get it here for $11.95.
For $13.37 per month, you get six to eight hand-picked "geek-gamer" products, notes Kjarahz.
Check it out here.
"Like an orgasm for the scalp," writes JungleLegs.
Get one on Amazon for $12.50.
The game "will give you hours of entertainment with friends," writes kinnelonfire75.
Get a starter kit for $10, or the entire thing for $25.
"Provides hours of entertainment!" writes MinistrofDeath. "Great for annoying your girlfriend."
Amazon has one that includes darts for $16.99.
The candles, which cost $24.95, contain a ring worth anywhere from $10 to $5,000.
"The excitement of not knowing what ring you get is worth the money," writes msshellshock. "Mine ended up being a $100 white sapphire."
"I'm a big fan of solar power and wish i had one," writes The_Wac.
Get one for $19.99 here.
"The animals go to someone in an impoverished country who needs them, and the good feeling is shared by you, the needy person, and whomever you decide to give that gift in the name of," writes magicdragonfly. "Pretty cool, if you ask me."
You can send a flock of geese, chicken, or ducks for $20.
"They refract white light into the visible light spectrum into about 8 directions," writes ElEspecial. "Best used at night, and actually they show different bits and pieces of the spectrum depending on the element which the source of light is made from, so consequently 'green' light bulbs with mercury look different than street lamps with phosphorous."
Get 20 pairs for $12.50 on Amazon.
For $20, you can cook items like bacon and eggs more perfectly, according to kdgarden.
Amazon has one for $14.97.
"Pretty cool and definitely very useful," writes ijustreally.
The classic is $19.99.
"You can't find a better pair of earbuds for under $100," writes ReeG. "There's a 300+ page thread on head-fi.org of people vouching for these."
Get them for just $6.12 here.
"Nothing says 'look mate, I'm higher up in the hierarchical system of life' like offering them a motorized pepper grinder when they come over for dinner and don't know what it is," writes Svardskampe.
Amazon has one for $20.20.
This sand looks normal, but the product recommended by wcbdfy is actually made so it can be packed into 3-dimensional shapes. Makes building a sandcastle way easier.
Buy a small bag for $15.
"Who knew a 21-year-old could have so much fun?" writes RUFFLZ.
This Syma helicopter is on sale for $20 on Amazon.
"This website puts up a new collection of shirts every week," writes firefly71. "They've gotten $12 from me almost every week in the last month."
The site has a variety of creative T-shirts.
"Plug it into your car, run the app and get your diagnostics. You get the same info the mechanics get and you get a code if you cars have errors," writes aimhelix. "You can then check the internet for fixes for that code and start learning about doing your own fixes in your car. Eventually you'll come to see that its much easier than you think."
Get one here for $13.99.
"One of the best beers you'll probably ever try," writes UpDownAndAround3.
You'll have to venture to Trader Joe's or another vendor to buy this beer.
This fun calendar lets you pop a bubble every day of the year, writes chains_of_silver.
Get it for $20 here.
This bacon has a shelf life of 10 years, so you won't have to worry about the expiration date, writes skinnejj.
Get a can with 18 servings for $19.99.
"The Roman empire experienced a period of rapid inflation before it collapsed," writes virnovus. "They minted huge quantities of low-value Roman coins, which are now being found across Europe with metal detectors. You can get ones with readable Latin inscriptions for like $5 apiece."
You can buy five coins for $11.67 here.
SEE ALSO: 20 Items Under $20 Everyone Should Own
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In December, Swedish video game programmer Markus Persson, best known as the creator of Minecraft, outbid Jay Z and Beyonce for a $70 million home in Beverly Hills.
The 23,000-square-foot home is completely over the top, with a 16-car garage, home gym, and giant infinity pool. It was the most ever paid for a home in Beverly Hills.
And last weekend, Persson (or Notch, as he's known to the video game crowd) threw a party to match the extravagant price, complete with celebrities, EDM music, Transformers, and fancy cars.
-5.jpg)
"Notch's Housewarming Party _or_ Hello Ladies starring Stephen Merchant?" 2: pic.twitter.com/dukd3lNyyH
— Kurt Koller (@InsidiousForce) January 14, 2015
"Notch's Housewarming Party _or_ Hello Ladies starring Stephen Merchant?" 6: pic.twitter.com/tYgRAyin33
— Kurt Koller (@InsidiousForce) January 14, 2015 . @MartinGarrix, @DILLONFRANCIS, @Zedd and @selenagomez party with Notchhttp://t.co/aMLtsM8Zh1pic.twitter.com/9QV7i91nCk
— EDM Sauce (@EDMsauce) January 14, 2015
Literally everyone went to @Notch’s party. Even Bumblebee & his kid. Think about that for a second. pic.twitter.com/zd16KBGPe5
— Dino (@Rhymestyle) January 14, 2015 Thanks for the great house warming party @notch was an epic first party for your new pad pic.twitter.com/bGVi7uA1zm
— Rob Pardo (@Rob_Pardo) January 13, 2015
SEE ALSO: The Creator Of Minecraft Outbid Beyonce And Jay Z For This Bonkers $70 Million LA Mansion
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Women are nearly 50% of the workforce in the United States, but our workplaces are far from equal.
As easy as it might be to say that leadership from women will likely follow total numbers, there isn't a lot of evidence that that's the case.
There were two essays published this week that get into why the glass ceiling is so hard to break. It comes down to the fact that this isn't a fight that women can win alone.
Here's Jessica Valenti on traditionally male professions (like politics) that still don't have very many women represented:
Asking individual women to enter hostile spaces to make them better is really asking women to make men better – and to make men better at women’s own risk. But it shouldn’t be women’s responsibility to fix men or deal with their misogyny. Instead, men should be taking it upon themselves to treat women with respect, and demand their other male colleagues do the same.
And Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant's op-ed in The New York Times this week describes a workplace situation that's all too familiar to many women:
Years ago, while producing the hit TV series “The Shield,” Glen Mazzara noticed that two young female writers were quiet during story meetings. He pulled them aside and encouraged them to speak up more.
Watch what happens when we do, they replied.
Almost every time they started to speak, they were interrupted or shot down before finishing their pitch. When one had a good idea, a male writer would jump in and run with it before she could complete her thought.
Sadly, their experience is not unusual.
The really interesting part of this last story, for me, is not that the women weren't taken seriously, but that their male manager had never noticed the disparity before. As a woman, that's where the real issue is. It isn't about the dumb sexist colleague who shoots me down, it's about whether the other people in the room notice — and care — that it's happening. That's what is going to determine whether women are taken seriously as employees and colleagues.
But this requires that authority figures of all genders be aware, empathetic, and active about keeping really subtle discrimination out of the workplace. And that can be hard! It falls on the shoulders of people who may not be personally affected by the outcome of their choices to mentor and eventually promote women into higher roles. But it really isn't that hard. And it's worth what managers will end up getting out of their female employees.
Obviously there will be women who are so stellar and so charismatic that none of this matters, but women aren't going to get to 50% of leadership roles in the workplace if only the truly exceptional break through.
Let me be clear: This is really depressing. No ambitious woman wants to be told that she's going to face sexism, and her career trajectory is probably in part based on how empathetic her boss is. And I can't imagine any man wants to be told that he's treating his female colleagues unfairly. But it is a factor in the long, slow march toward equality at the top that everyone with a job should think about.
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The letter of a wealthy survivor of the Titanic sinking is being auctioned this month by RR Auction of Boston, according to the Associate Press.
The May 1912 letter was written by fashion designer Lady Lucile Duff-Gordon, who was a first class passenger on the ill-fated Titanic with her husband Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon. In addition to being survivors, they were among a dozen people who survived in a lifeboat that could have held 40.
Tabloids dubbed it the “Money Boat” because rumor had it that Sir Cosmo bribed the crew with £5 each to row away from the sinking ship so that their boat would not be swamped. Today, that £5 would be the equivalent of a little over £500 or $760.
As news of their survival spread, the Duff-Gordons were besieged with rumors and whispers. In the private letter to a friend that’s up for auction, Lady Duff-Gordon writes, “We didn’t seem to have done the right thing in being saved at all!!!! Isn’t it disgraceful.”
The Duff-Gordons were interviewed and later cleared by the British Wreck Commissioner’s inquiry of their actions. The couple’s account said that they turned down places in two lifeboats for women and children before coming across a captain’s emergency boat that was filled with clutter. Seven sailors and five passengers, including the Duff-Gordons and their secretary, boarded.
As for the £5, Sir Cosmo said that the crew had lost their jobs and their possessions and the money was an act of restitution.
But despite being cleared of any wrongdoing, the harm to their reputations was absolute.
Sir Cosmo, who had never liked the spotlight and ironically booked passage on the Titanic under an assumed name, retreated even further into isolation.
Lucille — who was a well-known fashion designer at the time who dressed royals, aristocrats, and socialists — did not back down as easily. When WWI forced her to close her shops in Paris and London, she moved her base to New York and Chicago.
However, bad business decisions, court cases, and changing fashions left Lucille bankrupt and her business in ruins.
RR Auction said that the letter could be sold for as much as $6,000 at the auction in Boston on January 22. The lowest possible bid will be $300.
Here's the full text of the letter:
27 May - Harlow
Dear old friend,
How kind of you to send me a cable of sympathy from New York on our safety. According to the way we've been treated by England on our return we didn't seem to have done the right thing in being saved at all!!!!
Isn't it disgraceful.
[Illegible] come and see me and talk of old times. Ring me up.
Shall be home on Wednesday.
Yours sincerely,
Lucile Duff-Gordon
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Imagine if search engines like Google didn't exist. How would you find answers to your questions pre-Internet?
Well, you'd probably have to go to the library and do some research. That, or ask a librarian to do it for you.
The New York Public Library recently discovered an archive of reference questions that people asked its librarians back in the last century. The NYPL has been posting some of the questions on itssocialmedia pages, but has given Business Insider permission to answer republish a selection of them here.
As long as monogamy has existed, so has cheating. What makes people stray from the ones they love? We wanted to find out specifically what drives men to be unfaithful.
We talked to a leading expert on the topic, M. Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist and the author of "The Neuman Method" and "The Truth About Cheating." Through his research, Neuman found that the main reason men cheat has little to do with sex or physical attraction.
Produced by Graham Flanagan. Camera by Devan Joseph.
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Steve Gadlin is the guy behind IWantToDrawACatForYou.com, a simple website where Gadlin does exactly that. For $9.95, Gadlin draws cats in whatever manner you desire (fat, small, wearing a hat, tap-dancing, etc) and mails you the result. The idea was so catchy the business grossed more than $300,000 in cat drawings and merchandise.
By day, Gadlin is a website development manager for Weigel Broadcasting in Chicago. By night, he works on his many creative pursuits, which include comedy and stage shows and IWantToDrawACatForYou.com, which he called "a social experiment."
After drawing 18,794 stick figure cat drawings for strangers over the course of three years, Gadlin has decided to move on. In a candid AMA where he calls himself a "terrible artist," Gadlin revealed his reasoning for leaving his surprisingly lucrative cat-drawing business behind.
"As much as I have loved this 3-year ride, treating cat drawings as a company is draining and time consuming. I have a full time job, three kids, and other creative projects all clamoring for my time," Gadlin wrote. "It's a scary thing to give up the one creative project you're actually known for. But I feel it's necessary for me to move on to other things if I want to stay happy and sane."
Gadlin first gained popularity after appearing on CNBC's "Shark Tank." He claims to have sent the producers a two-line email reading, "Hey guys, I draw stick-figure cats—lemme at 'em." Once on the show, he wooed Mark Cuban into making a $25,000 investment in his strange idea. Here's a video of the pitch:
As far as how much money Gadlin has earned from his absurd endeavor, CNBC has reported the website earned over $200,000 during its first year after appearing on the show. During the AMA, Gadlin said the real figure is not that high. Here's what he wrote:
I suppose I've probably grossed over $300k on stick figure cat drawings. But when things were really busy, I was renting office space and paying several employees to help with fulfillment. I was also spending freely on other creative projects, none of which really took off.
I've been creating things for a long time — often at the expense of other creatives who volunteer their time and energy. This gave me an opportunity to pay these people for things. So I had more logos designed, songs created, etc. in an attempt to give back to folks who had supported my projects.
This project helped me purchase a mini-van when my third child was born, and also made it easier for my family to move into our first house.
I'm no good at math — but that's how I measure the success of this venture.
Overhead costs and a lack of business savvy limited Gadlin's takeaway, he said. He says someone with more business sense could have had "a more life changing financial gain" from the idea.
Gadlin admits he was unprepared to turn his cat drawings into an actual business, despite his appearance on "Shark Tank." His lack of commitment frustrated Cuban, who at first was more interested in the talent Gadlin could bring to other creative projects. Once Cuban realized that, he became far more interested in the return on investment in IWantToDrawACatForYou, according to Gadlin.
For those wondering which of Gadlin's 18,794 cat drawings was his favorite, Gadlin does not disappoint. Here's what he said during the AMA (for those who are squeamish, you've been warned):
My favorite cat drawing request was from a guy who had just tricked his brother into smoking his pubes. He wanted me to draw a cat for the big reveal ...
From one social Puck to another, I was happy to play a part in his little prank.
Gadlin is hard at work on a new project, a television show called "Steve Gadlin's Star Makers." It is a humorous talent showcase, aimed at featuring Hollywood and Broadway's stars of tomorrow. It currently airs on television in Chicago and on YouTube, but Gadlin is in the process of pitching it to cable networks.
SEE ALSO: 'Shark Tank' Investors Pick 8 Of The Show's Most Outrageous Pitches
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