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What Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's honeymoon itinerary in Namibia could look like, including a moonlit dinner and hot air balloon ride

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Meghan Markle and Prince Harry attend the UK team trials for the Invictus Games Sydney 2018 at the University of Bath in Bath, England, Friday, April 6, 2018.

  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are getting married on May 19.
  • The couple's honeymoon is reportedly taking place in Namibia, in West Africa. 
  • We talked to a travel agent who specializes in luxury travel throughout Africa to find out what Markle and Prince Harry might do during their time in Namibia.

 

After the royal wedding on May 19, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will jet off for their honeymoon — and according to Travel + Leisure, the destination of choice is Namibia, in South West Africa.

Neighboring Botswana, which the couple most recently visited for Markle's 36th birthday celebration, Namibia offers incredible views and ultimate privacy.

To find out what a honeymoon itinerary in Namibia may look like, Business Insider talked to Marisa Lassman, a travel expert and founder of Another Africa, a luxury travel agency that specializes in unique and tailored trips across the continent.

"We go to great lengths to profile our clients and understand their interests, travel preferences, and requirements," Lassman told Business Insider. "No two itineraries are ever the same." Lassman also noted the best time of year to visit Namibia is in May. With the royal couple and their tastes in mind, she drafted an eight-day itinerary for their honeymoon.

From horseback riding, to private tours led by a wildlife documentary filmmaker, to witnessing stunning views of the Skeleton Coast, see how the royals could be spending their time together in Namibia. 

SEE ALSO: People are hoping Meghan Markle's wedding dress could include pieces of Princess Diana's dress from 1981 — here's what that could look like

DON'T MISS: Meghan Markle's engagement ring has a diamond from the second biggest supplier of conflict-free diamonds — here are the best countries to buy diamonds from

After flying into Windhoek's international airport, it's a 50-minute flight to the Wolwedans Private Camp airstrip. Located within the NamibRand Nature Reserve, Wolwedans Private Camp is a remote and beautiful retreat, and can be booked only on an exclusive basis.



Two nights would be spent at Wolwedans. The first day would include activities such as a scenic walk while getting acclimated to the area and in-suite massages.



While there, tours would be given by Hayden Turner, an expert guide who has dedicated much of his life to filmmaking and photography in the surrounding areas for clients such as National Geographic and the Discovery Channel.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Meghan Markle is officially a Duchess — here's her new title

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meghan harry

  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle just became husband and wife.
  • Earlier this morning Kensington Palace announced their new titles as a married couple.
  • Harry and Meghan have become the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
  • They also got extra titles for use in Scotland and Northern Ireland.


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle just became husband and wife. Earlier this morning Kensington Palace announced that their new titles as a married couple would be the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

The palace announcement read:

"The Queen has today been pleased to confer a Dukedom on Prince Henry of Wales.  His titles will be Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel.

"Prince Harry thus becomes His Royal Highness The Duke of Sussex, and Ms. Meghan Markle on marriage will become Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex."

Harry assumed the new title immediately, while Meghan became Duchess as soon as they were married.

As well as becoming a Duke and Duchess, the Queen has given the couple extra titles to use when they are in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

They are the Earl and Countess of Dumbarton in Scotland, and Baron and Lady Kilkeel in Northern Ireland.

William and Kate were also given these lesser-used titles when they wed — they are the Earl and Countess of Strathearn in Scotland and Baron and Lady Carrickfergus in Ireland.

More on the royal wedding:

 

You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Jeff Bezos on breaking up and regulating Amazon

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle just shared their first kiss as husband and wife

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prince harry meghan

  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are officially husband and wife.
  • The couple delighted crowds as they shared a kiss as they emerged from St George's Chapel.
  • They were married on Saturday, May 19.


They did it! Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are officially married.

The newly-wed couple emerged as husband and wife from St George's Chapel and shared a kiss to the delight of the crowds of spectators that had gathered outside the building.

meghan harry first kiss

The couple looked absolutely overjoyed throughout the ceremony; Prince Harry told Meghan she looked "amazing... absolutely gorgeous," as she arrived beside him at the altar.

They will take the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

More on the royal wedding:

You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Ian Bremmer: Why the American dream doesn't exist anymore

I tried a science-backed eating plan tied to a better memory and longer life — and found the perfect simple breakfast

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erin brodwin eating avocado

  • I recently got a chance to practice what I preach by trying out the Mediterranean diet, an evidence-based meal plan for better health.
  • The first thing I had to change was my breakfast.
  • I swapped out granola bars and other packaged desserts disguised as breakfast for a simple, cheap alternative made with just 3 ingredients.


I recently got a chance to practice what I preach. After months of writing extensively about the evidence-based health benefits of the Mediterranean diet, I hit pause on my normal eating habits and gave it a go. With a kiss goodbye to my daily flip-flop diet of salads and cookies, I embraced the idea of eating more vegetables, fat, and protein, and fewer sweets and processed foods.

Naturally, the first thing I had to change as part of my personal experiment was my first meal of the day: breakfast.

Instead of a granola bar or any of the other desserts packaged and sold as "breakfast" items in the US, I made an alternative that was equally fast, portable and cheap.

My new breakfast contains only three ingredients: berries, Greek yogurt, and a mix of nuts and oats.

breakfast

To make it, I first spoon a hefty helping of the yogurt (I use plain, low-fat Greek yogurt because it's high in protein and low in sugar — two important parts of the Mediterranean plan) into a bowl, then pile on a homemade mix of nuts and whole rolled oats, and top it off with frozen raspberries (they're much cheaper than fresh ones and last longer too) and a dash of cinnamon.

Shortly after polishing off my creation and settling into a mild feeling of smugness, I realized my breakfast closely resembles a meal I first learned about from Harvard physician Monique Tello

She uses roughly the same ingredients to make a fast, convenient meal that she can bring to work and eat at her desk. Made of berries, Icelandic-style (high protein) yogurt, plus a mix of nuts, seeds, and rolled oats, Tello's simple breakfast is high in protein to fuel her muscles and has plenty of fiber to fill her up and regulate her digestion.

doctor's breakfast fruit yogurt nuts

If you're not a fan of yogurt and berries, the nutritional profile of Tello's and my breakfasts can be replicated in dozens of other forms. A couple of hard-boiled eggs and a piece of whole grain toast would work too; as would some turkey bacon and a whole wheat English muffin or a couple of tablespoons of no-sugar added peanut butter with sliced apples.

As long as your meal features whole grains (not refined ones) and good sources of protein, fiber, and some healthy fats, you're good to go. The combination of ingredients should fill you up and keep you fueled for hours.

SEE ALSO: I tried a science-backed eating plan tied to a better memory and longer life — and never felt like I was 'dieting'

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: I ate nothing but 'healthy' fast food for a week — here’s what happened

What a $500,000 home looks like in 25 major cities across America

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single family home for sale

  • The cost per square foot for homes can vary drastically from city to city.
  • You can get a lot more space in Dallas or Chicago than in New York or the Bay Area.
  • To compare home size across housing markets, real estate listing site Trulia pulled listings in the $500,000 range for the 25 biggest US metros.

Space is hard to come by in some of America's most popular housing markets.

Homebuyers in New York, for instance, are paying over $1,000 per square foot right now, while buyers in Detroit and Chicago are paying closer to $400 per square foot.

To find out how home sizes compare across America, we asked Trulia to gather listings in the $500,000 range for the country's largest metro areas by population.

Below, check out how much square footage buyers get for homes priced between $499,000 and $525,000 in 25 popular cities, ordered from lowest to highest cost per square foot.

SEE ALSO: Half of the biggest housing markets in the US are overvalued — and it could spell trouble for homebuyers

DON'T MISS: Many millennials are itching to become homeowners — here are the 17 best cities to put down roots

Orlando, Florida

Listing price: $500,000

Square feet: 3,609

Price per square foot: $139



Fort Worth, Texas

Listing price: $499,999

Square feet: 2,975

Price per square foot: $168



Phoenix, Arizona

Listing price: $495,000

Square feet: 2,748

Price per square foot: $180



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

People are convinced Prince Harry said 'I'm sh---ing it' to Meghan Markle at the altar

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Prince Harry stands with his bride, Meghan Markle, during their wedding in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 in Windsor, England.

  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were married on Saturday May 19 in a royal wedding for the ages.
  • It was a joyous but understandably nervewracking occasion for the pair as an estimated 1.9 billion people tuned in to watch.
  • As Meghan Markle joined Prince Harry at the altar, Twitter users were convinced he told her "I'm sh---ing it."
  • You can watch the video below and decide for yourself.


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been joined in holy matrimony. It was a joyous but understandably nerve-wracking experience for the famous couple as the world watched on.

Twitter users captured the moment Meghan arrived next to Harry at the altar, and he appears to tell her he's "sh---ing it":

It certainly wouldn't be an unbelievable thing for the Prince to say, considering an estimated 1.9 billion people were expected to watch the wedding around the world.

Others aren't convinced Harry uttered any profanities, though. InStyle magazine posted a video of the moment but subtitled the Prince saying "I'm so lucky."

“You look amazing. I’m so lucky.” 😭😭😭 Prince Harry greets his beautiful bride Meghan Markle. #RoyalWedding

A post shared by instylemagazine (@instylemagazine) on May 19, 2018 at 5:20am PDT on

It wasn't the only thing to distract social media users. People didn't know what to think when one wedding officiant uttered the words "sexual union."

More on the royal wedding:

You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

SEE ALSO: 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Why you should never release your pet goldfish into the wild

Here's how to opt out of the new Instagram feature that lets random users post your pictures to their story

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Instagram

Instagram launched a new feature on Thursday that lets users take photos in their feeds that were posted by others, and add them to their own stories. 

It's a great opportunity for influencers hoping to get more exposure for their content, and for regular users who enjoy having their pictures potentially go viral. If you're neither of those however, it might be alarming to know that your account is automatically set to allow this kind of sharing.

It's only available to Android users for now, so iPhone users won't immediately notice the change (it'll hit the iPhone "soon," Instagram told Mashable), but unknowing iPhone users on Instagram can still have their pictures shared on other people's stories.

To use, it, Instagram accounts with access to this feature can tap on the paper airplane icon under images in their feed and select "Create a story with this post," which now appears at the top of the "Share" list. Once the user has done that, the picture will be seen by anyone who views their story, including followers and — if it's a public profile — anyone who happens upon their account. 

If this is something you're uncomfortable with, there are two ways to proactively opt-out of it.

SEE ALSO: RED announced its $1,200 smartphone is coming to Verizon and AT&T later this summer — take a look at all its futuristic technologies

Since users can only share your picture to their story if you have a public account, one option would be to make it private.

Go to the Settings cog on your profile and scroll down to toggle "Private Account" on. This makes your profile completely inaccessible to anyone who doesn't follow you, meaning they can't see pictures on it but they also can't share pictures in a direct message or — as of this week — to their story. 

Of course, the followers you've allowed to view your private account will still be able to share your photos to their stories.



If you don't want to make your profile completely private, you can turn off the option to "Allow Resharing to Stories," which is now located just above the option to make your account private.

The option to opt-out is already on iPhone users' accounts even if they can't use the feature yet. So, regardless of the phone you have, you can adjust your settings if having your pictures appear on someone else's story isn't really your thing. 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Champagne, langoustines, and pork belly are a few of the things guest are eating at the royal wedding, here's the full menu

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  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are now husband and wife.
  • Around 600 of their guests are now enjoying a fancy reception of food and drinks with a modern twist.
  • Pol Roger champagne, langoustines wrapped in smoked salmon, and slow roasted Windsor pork belly are just some of the delicious-sounding items on offer.


Her Majesty The Queen is hosting a lunchtime reception at St George's Hall in Windsor Castle for around 600 guests drawn from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding service.

And if you're curious as to what they'll be eating and drinking, then you're in luck because Kensington Palace has shared a sneak peek of the entire menu.

Canapés

First, guests will be treated to a selection of canapés, including:

  • Scottish langoustines wrapped in smoked salmon with citrus crème fraiche
  • Grilled English asparagus wrapped in Cumbrian ham
  • Garden pea panna cotta with quail eggs and lemon verbena
  • Heritage tomato and basil tartare with balsamic pearls
  • Poached free range chicken bound in a lightly spiced yoghurt with roasted apricot
  • Croquette of confit Windsor lamb, roasted vegetables and shallot jam
  • Warm asparagus spears with mozzarella and sun-blush tomatoes

Bowl food

Guests will also be served a selection of bowl food, including:

  • Fricassee of free range chicken with morel mushrooms and young leeks
  • Pea and mint risotto with pea shoots, truffle oil and parmesan crisps
  • Ten hour slow roasted Windsor pork belly with apple compote and crackling

Sweet treats

Sweet canapés will also be served, including:

  • Champagne and pistachio macaroons
  • Orange crème brûlée tartlets
  • Miniature rhubarb crumble tartlets

Drinks

Guests will also be treated to Pol Roger Brut Réserve Non Vintage Champagne and a selection of wines to wash it all down. There will also be an apple and elderflower mocktail, made with the same syrup as wedding cake, and Sandringham Cox's apple juice.

The cutting of the cake

Harry and Meghan's wedding cake, designed by Claire Ptak, will also be served at the reception. It features elderflower syrup made of the Sandringham estate’s own elderflower trees and a light sponge cake, filled with Amalfi lemon curd and elderflower buttercream, and decorated with Swiss meringue buttercream and 150 fresh flowers, including peonies and roses, which also adorned the chapel.

The newly weds will cut the wedding cake at the reception and there will be speeches from The Prince of Wales, Prince Harry and Meghan. The Duke of Cambridge, who is the best man, will compere at the Reception.

prince harry meghan

More on the royal wedding:

 

You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Jeff Bezos reveals what it's like to build an empire and become the richest man in the world — and why he's willing to spend $1 billion a year to fund the most important mission of his life

The best deals you can find at Costco, according to employees

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Costco shopper

  • Costco membership provides access to a store known for its deals and bulk quantities.
  • Business Insider reached out to Costco employees to find out what they thought were the best deals in the store.
  • Employees highlighted a huge range of products, from bananas to hearing aids to the $1.50 food court hot dog.


Costco membership is supposed to bring about some major savings. The retail chain is famous for selling items in bulk, which can help you save money, if you know what you're doing. It also boasts a food court that hawks cheap and yummy eats, and tons of surprising and quirky offerings.

But Costco employees themselves know firsthand which deals are worth it — and which are best to skip.

A Costco employee with 15 months of experience told Business Insider that seasonal items can make for pretty good deals when supplies of the product are running low. "They are marked with an asterisk on signage and can be marked down quite a bit," they said.

But there are plenty of other products that Costco workers think are worth your money. "You just have to pay attention," said one worker with two years of experience at Costco.

Business Insider spoke with 48 Costco employees to get their ideas on what items you should consider buying at the retail chain.

Here are some things you might want to consider picking up on your next Costco run, according to employees:

SEE ALSO: Costco employees pick the 11 most surprising items the wholesale retailer sells

DON'T MISS: Costco employees share 21 things they'd love to tell shoppers but can't

DON'T FORGET: Costco employees share the 7 best parts of working at the retail chain with a cult-like following

Kirkland products

— three Costco employees with 10 years of experience, 25 years of experience, and nine years of experience, respectively.

More information on Costco's range of Kirkland products can be found here » 



The $1.50 hot dog from the food court

—  three Costco employees with three years of experience, two years of experience, and 19 years of experience, respectively.

Costco hot dogs have cost $1.50 since 1985» 



Cheese

— a Costco employee with five years of experience,

Costco's cheese wheels are significantly more expensive, however. According to the chain's website, the "Kirkland Signature Whole Wheel Parmigiano Reggiano" goes for $899.99. Check that out here» 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

People are comparing the crowd at the royal wedding to Trump's inauguration — and the pictures say a lot

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inauguration vs. royal wedding

  • People on Twitter are comparing the crowd at the royal wedding to Trump's 2017 inauguration.
  • There appears to be a stark difference.
  • You be the judge.


People are comparing the turnout for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's royal wedding to that of Trump's inauguration — and the pictures say a lot.

Over 100,000 people are estimated to have lined the procession route on Saturday, May 19 in Windsor, England, where the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex tied the knot at St George's Chapel.

Here's what the crowd looked like at its fullest as Markle approached:

Meghan Markle approaches Windsor Castle as crowds of spectators look on.

BBC Three shared a tweet comparing the crowd to that of Donald Trump's inauguration as US President on January 20, 2017.

There appears to be a pretty stark difference.

trump inauguration crowd

However, estimates suggest that around 160,000 people were at the National Mall and surrounding area in the hour leading to Trump's speech.

While exact figures are unknown for both events, the crowd certainly appeared to be bigger outside of St George's Chapel.

Thousands of people have responded to the tweet in support of the couple's union.

J.K. Rowling tweeted the photo with the caption "Love > Hate."

Other users are posting photos of other crowds that appear to have been bigger than the inauguration, including the Rolling Stones in Brazil...

Metallica in Russia...

...and WrestleMania.

More on the royal wedding:


You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

SEE ALSO: Royal wedding live: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are officially married, and now it's time for the party

SEE ALSO: These are the first photos of Meghan Markle's wedding dress

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Ian Bremmer: Why the American dream doesn't exist anymore

Here are the photos of Meghan Markle's wedding dress and veil, which features hand-embroidered flowers from all 53 Commonwealth nations

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meghan harry royal wedding

  • Meghan Markle arrived at St George's Chapel just before 12 p.m. — and her dress was stunning.
  • The sleek, long-sleeve white dress was designed by Clare Waight Keller of Givenchy.
  • It featured a five-metre-long silk tulle veil featuring unique embroidered flowers representing all of the Commonwealth countries.
  • She paired it with Givenchy shoes and a Cartier bracelet and earrings.


Meghan Markle and Prince Harry tied the knot in their highly anticipated royal wedding on Saturday, May 19 — and her dress was stunning.

Markle arrived at St George's Chapel on Saturday, May 19 just before 12 p.m., accompanied by her mother, Doria Ragland.

Her sleek, long-sleeve, white dress was designed by the acclaimed British designer Clare Waight Keller of Givenchy.

meghan markle wedding dress

Its off-the-shoulder design featured pure lines "achieved using six meticulously placed seams," according to Kensington Palace.

"The focus of the dress is the graphic open bateau neckline that gracefully frames the shoulders and emphasises the slender sculpted waist," a statement went on.

Meghan Markle arrives for her wedding to Prince Harry at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 in Windsor, England.

"The lines of the dress extend towards the back where the train flows in soft round folds cushioned by an underskirt in triple silk organza. The slim three-quarter sleeves add a note of refined modernity."

She completed her outfit with five-metre-long silk tulle long veil and tiara on top of her hair, which was pinned back into a bun and was styled by Serge Normant.

Her make-up was done by long-time friend and make-up artist Daniel Martin.

Meghan Markle arrives for her wedding to Prince Harry at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 in Windsor, England.

The veil featured unique hand-embroidered silk thread flowers representing the flora of each Commonwealth country, as per Markle's request.

"Ms. Markle wanted to express her gratitude for the opportunity to support the work of the Commonwealth by incorporating references to its members into the design of her wedding dress," the palace stated.

The sewing took hundreds of hours, according to the palace.

It was held in place by Queen Mary’s diamond bandeau tiara, Meghan’s "something borrowed" lent to her by Queen Elizabeth.

Meghan Markle stands at the altar during her wedding in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 in Windsor, England.

She paired her outfit with pointed Givenchy shoes, and Cartier earrings and a bracelet.

meghan bracelet

Her small bouquet was made up of flowers from the private garden at Kensington Palace to add to the bespoke bridal bouquet designed by florist Philippa Craddock.

With blooms including Forget-Me-Nots, Princess Diana's favourite flower, the flowers were pulled together with a silk ribbon.

BOUQUET CLOSE UP

More on the royal wedding:

You can read all of INSIDER's royal wedding coveragehere.

SEE ALSO: Royal wedding live: We've had the first glimpse of Meghan Markle on her way to marry Prince Harry

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Jeff Bezos on breaking up and regulating Amazon

11 candid photos of the royal family at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding

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Britain’s Prince Harry gestures next to his wife Meghan as they ride a horse-drawn carriage after their wedding ceremony at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle in Windsor, Britain, May 19, 2018.

  • As always, the greatest photos are the ones we don't know are being taken.
  • This rule was true for the royal wedding as the royal family was snapped around the ceremony.
  • Scroll down to see the best shots.


The royals were, of course, out in force for the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The Queen stood out in a bright lime green outfit, Prince George wore a fetching replica of his dad's military frockcoat, and Kate Middleton kept it simple in an Alexander McQueen coat.

Oprah, David Beckham, and Elton John were some of the celebrities who turned out to watch them marry, but all eyes were on the royals for this occasion

Scroll down for the best candid shots of the royal family during the wedding event of the year.

SEE ALSO: The Queen arrived at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding in lime green and she certainly stands out

We got our first look at Meghan, riding in a vintage Rolls Royce with her mother, Doria Ragland, at about 11:15 a.m.



Pippa Middleton, who will become Meghan's sister-in-law, was the first famous member of the extended royal family to arrive.



Prince George wore a fetching replica of his dad's military frockcoat.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are officially married — here's a timeline of everything that happened

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Harry Meghan kiss wedding

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were married Saturday at St George's Chapel in Windsor in an elaborate and elegant royal ceremony.

Oprah, Serena Williams, and Elton John were some of the celebrities who turned out to watch them marry, as well as Queen Elizabeth and virtually all of the royal family.

Scroll down for a timeline of the day and click here to refresh the page for the latest updates.

The public part of the ceremony ended when Harry and Meghan left for their two wedding receptions, hosted by the Queen at St George's Hall, not far from the chapel. That marks the end of the public part of the ceremony.

 



But Kensington Palace did share a photo of the finished royal wedding cake, which will be eaten at the reception. It is impressive, to say the least.

 



Palace officials also published the full menu for the event. Here it is:

Canapés:

  • Scottish Langoustines wrapped in Smoked Salmon with Citrus Crème Fraiche
  • Grilled English Asparagus wrapped in Cumbrian Ham
  • Garden Pea Panna Cotta with Quail Eggs and Lemon Verbena
  • Heritage Tomato and Basil Tartare with Balsamic Pearls
  • Poached Free Range Chicken bound in a Lightly Spiced Yoghurt with Roasted Apricot
  • Croquette of Confit Windsor Lamb, Roasted Vegetables and Shallot Jam
  • Warm Asparagus Spears with Mozzarella and Sun-Blush Tomatoes 

"Bowl food" (click here for more on this, a major break with tradition):

  • Fricassee of Free Range Chicken with Morel Mushrooms and Young Leeks
  • Pea and Mint Risotto with Pea Shoots, Truffle Oil and Parmesan Crisps
  • Ten Hour Slow Roasted Windsor Pork Belly with Apple Compote and Crackling 

Dessert canapés:

  • Champagne and Pistachio Macaroons
  • Orange Crème Brûlée Tartlets
  • Miniature Rhubarb Crumble Tartlets


See the rest of the story at Business Insider

I asked a top couples therapist for 3 things people don't realize about strong relationships

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marriage therapist esther perel

  • Marriage can be challenging, and couples therapist Esther Perel has seen it all.
  • Perel shared insights on how to handle every potential stage of a relationship, from dating (there's no such thing as "the one") to cheating (it doesn't always mean the person is unhappy with their partner).
  • This post is part of Relationships 101, a series which aims to help us all be happier and healthier in love — and to stop fighting over who should take out the trash.


I first met Esther Perel in 2017, at a launch event for her new book, "The State of Affairs."

Perel has been a couples therapist for years; she previously published the bestseller "Mating in Captivity." I was impressed by how much energy she still had as she talked about intimate relationships, about our fears and feelings around them.

At one point, she acted out a hypothetical person's reaction when they find out their partner has been unfaithful — which couldn't have been easy, given that the person was having many different reactions at once. (The punchline: "F--- you; f--- me!")

A few months later, Perel visited the Business Insider office to record a series of videos in which she answered all our burning questions about modern romance — from dating to marriage. Three points stood out to me as most insightful:

1. There's no such thing as 'the one'

Perel said many people who use dating apps feel paralyzed by indecision: How do you know you're choosing the right person from among the millions of options?

Perel's answer: You aren't, but you are. "There is never 'the one.' There is a one that you choose and with whom you decide that you want to build something. But in my opinion, there could also have been others."

And now that you've chosen this person, you "come up with all the arguments to justify why that was the right person," Perel said. "There is no one and only. There is the one you pick and what you choose to build with that person."

2. Empathy and understanding are the best ways to resolve conflict

According to Perel, the two most important skills in a strained relationship are the ability to show empathy for your partner's experience and to take responsibility for your contribution to the problems. She called them the "saving grace" of any rocky relationship.

Empathy, Perel said, is all about being able to "acknowledge what the other person is going through; to validate that the other person is going through this, that it makes sense that they would be feeling this way." It's harder than it sounds.

Taking responsibility means shifting the focus from what the other person is doing wrong to what you might be doing wrong.

Perel said, "It's so easy to focus on what's missing in the other person. It's so easy to go critical. It's so easy to think that if you were different, my life would be better, rather than sometimes to switch it around and think if I was different, my life would be better. And maybe if I was different with you, you would be different with me."

3. Cheating doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with the relationship

Perel acknowledged that when someone strays, it's generally assumed that there was something wrong with their relationship. And yet she called this a "deficiency model" of infidelity, because it doesn't account for other motivations.

"Many times the people who stray are also hoping to reconnect with lost parts of themselves," she said.

Maybe they've always been a goody-two-shoes and long to rebel, or maybe they've gotten so caught up in taking care of the kids that they haven't properly attended to their own desire for stimulation. These aren't excuses for infidelity, but different ways of looking at the reasons for cheating.

Perel said: "Often when a person goes to look elsewhere, it isn't so much that they're looking for another partner as much as they're looking for another self. It isn't so much that they want to leave the person that they are with as much as they want to leave the person that they have themselves become."

SEE ALSO: I asked a top relationship psychologist for his 3 best pieces of advice about marriage

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A psychologist explains how important sex is in a relationship

The most expensive city in the world may build 100-square foot 'tube homes' to alleviate its escalating housing crisis

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HongKongHousing TubeHomes (1 of 18)

  • Hong Kong has one of the worst housing crises in the world, and has been ranked the least affordable city for housing for the last eight years.
  • Hong Kong architect James Law has designed a low-cost solution to the problem: stackable, retro-fitted water pipe "tube homes" called "O-Pods" that could be rented cheaply to young people.
  • Law sees the design as an "open-source" solution for housing crises around the world.
  • The first O-Pod development is being built in Shenzhen, China and due to open in July.

Hong Kong has one of the worst housing crises in the world, with property prices so high that a single parking spot sold for $664,000 last year and all but the wealthiest are stuck renting tiny apartments with an ever-proliferating range of colorful names: micro-flats, nano apartments, coffin apartments, and cage homes.

It's gotten so bad that the city has been ranked the least affordable city for housing in the world for eight years running, according to the Annual Demographia International Housing Affordability Survey.

"We are facing a tangible affordability problem in our cities," architect James Law told Business Insider. "It is almost beyond the reach of most people to afford to live in a proper home in Hong Kong

Law thinks he may have a solution: a retro-fitted concrete water pipe. 

The idea came to him last August when he was overseeing a construction site. He noticed some leftover concrete pipes at the site and found that they were large, strong, safe, and not being used. Law designed and built the prototype for the O-Pod in less than a month.

The O-Pod wasn't Law's first "crazy project" — he tries to challenge himself with one each year — but it is the first to garner attention across the world. Within months, the O-Pod had been written up in the New Y0rk Times, the South China Morning Post, BBC News, and Business Insider. And he has received inquiries about the design from firms in New Zealand, South Africa and Hawaii.

In April, Law signed a contract with a developer in Shenzhen, China to build the first O-Pod complex.

"​The big dream of mine is not necessarily me doing it, but a global community of people who share the same values using this as an open source design to share around the world," Law said. 

"If we can work with governments, and even private landowners and manufacturers, we could very cheaply build the O-Pods, and we could rent them out very cheaply to young people who are struggling to afford housing."

Law recently gave us a tour of the prototype and revealed where he wants to take it from here. Here's what it was like:

SEE ALSO: I rode China's superfast bullet train that could go from New York to Chicago in 4.5 hours — and it shows how far behind the US really is

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The prototype of the O-Pod is located beneath a bridge in Kwun Tong, a former manufacturing area in East Kowloon.



The O-Pod is made from two sections of concrete drain pipe and has a living space of around 100 square feet. Law's goal for the O-Pod was to create something that was cheap, easily maintained, and quickly built.

Key to keeping the costs down is using a pre-manufactured product, according to Law.

"When you build it yourself, it's expensive and requires labor, quality control, and testing," Law said.

But because the O-Pod uses concrete water pipes, which are already being mass-manufactured, they are "low-cost, well-engineered,  and being concrete, these pipes have good insulation properties."

 

 

 

Designed to go underground, they are also extremely strong and can be stacked on top of each other to immediately become a building, without having to build additional ‘bookcase’ structures, columns and beams, etc [as is the case with shipping containers].”



The O-Pod feels bright and spacious when you step inside. Though the floor space is 100 square feet, the curved walls and the tilted lights make it feel much bigger.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

'Deadpool 2' director opens up about the pressures of jumping into a hit franchise and what working with Ryan Reynolds was like

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deadpool 2 fox

  • David Leitch, the director of "Deadpool 2," explains why he took on the movie following the exit of the first movie's director, Tim Miller.
  • Leitch also explains the pressures of working on a big studio movie that has a set release date in place before production even begins.
  • He also tells us why doing multiple test screenings made "Deadpool 2" better.

David Leitch has proved to be one of the top filmmakers in the action-movie genre with only two movies under his belt — but they certainly left an impression.

After building one of the most respected stuntman crews in Hollywood with Chad Stahelski in the early 2000s (they were called on to do all the big action movies like "The Bourne Legacy" and the "Expendables" movies), the two made their directorial debut with the surprise hit "John Wick" starring Keanu Reeves in 2014. It proved that they could do more than just come up with innovative fight sequences. Leitch then went on his own to make "Atomic Blonde" last year (Stahelski made "John Wick 2") and proved it wasn't a fluke. He could really direct. His stylized Cold War ultraviolent tale starring Charlize Theron wowed audiences.

Now he's hit the big time, having signed on to direct "Deadpool 2" (in theaters Friday) after the first movie's director, Tim Miller, exited the project. The sequel doesn't just deliver on bigger fights and jokes. With Leitch at the helm (and most likely a little more budget than the first one), and with Ryan Reynolds reprising the outlandish Marvel superhero, the movie feels bigger and more slick.

But Leitch isn't letting up. He's now prepping his next movie, "Hobbs and Shaw" starring Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham, the first spin-off project from the "Fast and Furious" franchise.

Leitch sat down with Business Insider to talk about the pressures of jumping in a franchise like "Deadpool," how the looming predetermined movie release date brought lots of anxiety, and why test screenings really helped the movie.

Jason Guerrasio: Was getting on "Deadpool 2" similar to what you did with "Atomic Blonde" where you showed Charlize a kind of sizzle reel of your vision of the movie?

David Leitch: It was a completely different experience. I was actually working on "X-Force" with Ryan and Simon Kinberg, for a very short window of time. I had gotten the gig to develop it and I had just started working in that world, and then when this opportunity came up for "Deadpool" — "We're going to be doing 'Deadpool 2' first, would you be interested in directing?" — I was like [does a big exhale]. It was more an offer because we had a relationship.

It was a daunting decision to make because what I liked about the idea of "X-Force" was that I would be able to break new ground and create my own world. Here you have this franchise that's a global phenomenon and how are you going to meet the expectations of that? But because there's an element of "X-Force," really the introduction of these characters in this world, I sort of got to have my cake and eat it too, I guess. I felt there was enough room in the creative palette of what "Deadpool" can be for me to have an impact as a director but also stay true to what people love from the original.

Deadpool 2 20th Century FoxGuerrasio: And I'm assuming there was something on page already, so you could have some vision of where they wanted to go with the sequel when you came on?

Leitch: Well, no. [Laughs.] It was more of a pitch. They had gone down the road of trying to crack the story of what we wanted to do for number two, and when I came on board they were sort of piecing things together from those ideas. So I was loosely involved in the beginning of that process as I was coming on board. We put the movie out in note cards, as you do, and they went away and wrote it as I started to prep. We had a short time. We knew we were shooting in Vancouver, so we were scouting locations as the pages were coming in.

Guerrasio: So because of the speed this was very different from doing "John Wick" or "Atomic Blonde."

Leitch: It is. It's because of that release date. The release-date pressure.

Guerrasio: It's hanging over everyone's head.

Leitch: It's hanging in the air and every week you push principal photography it gives you less days on post. And on these big visual-effects movies, post is key. It's really hard with these release-date schedules.

Guerrasio: And with this movie in particular, because your main character is wearing a mask, post is crucial because if you guys think of a better line or joke, you can place it in with very little extra work.

Leitch: You want to allow for that process to take place. You need a window of creativity in post that you may not have in another movie. You have the luxury of putting words in the mask: making a joke more current, or work better, or help the narrative with a couple of lines. You want to maximize that.

Guerrasio: Were you aware of that need in post going into the project?

Leitch: I was pretty aware of it. I had never done it before, but talking to Ryan and his experience on the last film and understanding how post works, it's a great tool. But we needed time to experiment. And test jokes. We needed some sort of development period where we're not under the pressure of the release date.

Guerrasio: Did you test this movie with audiences a lot?

Leitch: Yeah. And I'm grateful we did. We were testing really high. We were testing in the 90s in our first test screening. It was crazy. On an independent film you get that score you pack up shop and polish the color and sound and ship the movie. But because we had the resources of the studio and we had gotten our first test out early we felt we could improve on this. We did test a couple of more times and we refined jokes and we trimmed scenes, and it was definitely progressive. Our scores were increasing all the way to the last one where we had this insane score. But it was all due to this refinement process in post.

Guerrasio: And not every movie can be pulled off this way.

Leitch: Well, you have some help with the character being in a mask.

Guerrasio: You can put in anything and it's going to match.

Leitch: Yeah. It helps.

Atomic Blonde 2 Jonathan Prime Focus Features finalGuerrasio: Compare Ryan to working with Keanu and Charlize.

Leitch: They are in the position they are in the world because there's a work ethic and a level of professionalism and then there's a talent. So those three things are the mix that makes them who they are. I had close collaborations with Keanu on "John Wick" in the beginning process. A lot in the script and who he is as a character, and then once he connected with the character and found his emotional way in then he let Chad and myself, the filmmakers, go and do what we had to do. Charlize was a producer on "Atomic" so she had a lot of say in the beginning as well, but once I gave her the pitch of making it a punk noir music mashup she got really excited, and once she found the character and trusted the vision she's all business. Ryan is a different process because he's a producer, writer, performance artist —

Guerrasio: Keeper of the Deadpool flame.

Leitch: Yeah. Head of marketing, not really, but you know what I mean. He's essential in marketing. So there's a big brand that he's shepherding so it was a little different process but it was really collaborative and really supportive. He was really supportive of me as a filmmaker to the studio. He wanted this to be a David Leitch film. It was a great experience.

Guerrasio: You've been working nonstop. Have you had a moment to take a breath and take in everything you've done in the past few years? Not just the movies, but the level of difficulty and scope in such a short time.

Leitch: I haven't. My close collaborator since "Atomic" has been my wife, Kelly McCormick, and we were kind of looking at each other last night and were like, "Are we ever going to take a break?" And we do find joy in the process. But, in my below-the-line career I didn't take breaks.

Guerrasio: But I hope you're doing things now that are more financially satisfying than when you were doing stunt work.

Leitch: [Laughs.] Granted, this is a Champagne problem. But it's just that the material has spoken to us and we see a path in. That's so rare that I want to grab it. I know we're now jumping into "Hobbs and Shaw" really quickly, but I'm not daunted by it.

SEE ALSO: "Solo" is the worst "Star Wars" movie since "Attack of the Clones," according to critics

Join the conversation about this story »

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Terry Crews takes us through the emotional roller coaster of his show 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' being canceled and then miraculously picked up

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  • The canceling by Fox of "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" put the internet into meltdown mode.
  • The show was eventually picked up by NBC for its sixth season.
  • Series regular Terry Crews recalls the shock of getting the news that the show was canceled and how he learned NBC picked it up.


It's been quite a ride the last week for Terry Crews.

While gearing up to promote his role in the highly anticipated "Deadpool 2," Crews got the shocking news that the popular TV show he'd been a regular on for five seasons, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," had been canceled by Fox.

The internet went into a complete meltdown over the news. From the super fans to celebrities like Mark Hamill, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Seth Meyers, and Oscar-winning director Guillermo del Toro, it seemed everyone was appalled that Fox would put the brakes on the show. 

And Crews admitted everyone involved in the show was shocked as well.

"We had no clue we were going to be canceled," Crews told Business Insider on Wednesday. "All expectations were that we were coming back for a sixth season just because we were doing so well. It was the shock of the century."

brooklyn nine-nine andy samberg

Crews said he got the news last Thursday, moments before he was about to go on stage to shoot an episode of the Michael Strahan-hosted "The 100,000 Pyramid" game show.

"Five minutes before I'm about to go on, I get an email from ['Brooklyn Nine-Nine' creator Dan Goor]," Crews said. "And I'm like, 'We're canceled?' It was surreal. I was like in a Spike Lee floating in the air shot. The world was over. But I did my job, I went and did the show. But it was like hearing that your favorite uncle is dead. There were tears, I'm not going to lie to you."  

The outrage on social media led to reports of streaming services like Hulu perhaps taking the show over. But Crews went to bed Thursday having to come to terms with the fact that the show was really done.

But then his phone started blowing up at 3 a.m. News had hit that NBC picked up the show for its sixth season.

"It was the middle of the night, I woke up to my phone glowing and I'm wondering what is going on," Crews said. "I got all these texts with everyone saying, 'We're picked up!' I jumped out of bed. I felt like I was one of Madonna's kids. 'I get to live in the mansion now, she picked me!'"

"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" will be a part of NBC's mid-season lineup, according to NBC Entertainment chairman Bob Greenblatt.

SEE ALSO: "Deadpool 2" director gives an update on the "Fast and Furious" spin-off movie he's making with The Rock and Jason Statham

Join the conversation about this story »

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Here's the most popular wedding song in every state, according to Spotify

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  • First dance wedding songs can be difficult to choose, but some end up being more popular than others.
  • Spotify put together a list of the most popular wedding songs by state.
  • Ed Sheeran dominated, making the list 24 times. 

Choosing a first dance song for your wedding can be challenging.

The pressure is on to choose a song that will hold a special place in your heart forever, and the number of playlists to pick from can be overwhelming.

Funnily enough, out of all the options, many songs end up being more popular than others as the soundtrack to the first dance. 

With the help of Spotify, we've put together a list of the most popular wedding song in every state.

Spotify looked at all-time wedding playlists — like those titled with the word "wedding" and the label "first dance" — to see which songs and artists were included the most. From there, they looked at each state's top 500 wedding songs on the "wedding" playlists and ranked them in order of most-played wedding songs based on listening in May so far.

spotify most popular wedding song every state

Apparently couples love dancing to the sound of Ed Sheeran, whose songs are the most popular first dance songs in almost half of the US. A few other artists are popular in multiple states; there are a total of 21 different songs on the list.

Below, see the most popular wedding song in every state, plus Washington, DC.

SEE ALSO: Meghan Markle's wedding dress could cost more than $135,000 — and she'll probably be the one paying for it

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Alabama — "Marry Me"

Artist: Train

Lyrics:

"Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe"

Listen here »



Alaska — "Marry Me"

Artist: Train

Lyrics:

"Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe"

Listen here »



Arizona — "Thinking Out Loud"

Artist: Ed Sheeran

Lyrics:

"Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are"

Listen here »



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

MICHAEL JORDAN: How the richest NBA player ever spends his $1.65 billion

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Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan made less than $100 million as the NBA's greatest player of all time, but is now a member of Forbes' list of billionaires with an estimated net worth of $1.65 billion.

Since Jordan retired 15 years ago, he has built the most successful and lucrative career we've ever seen from a former athlete.

From sprawling houses to custom planes to his own golf course, he's clearly enjoying life after hoops.

Jordan still makes more money than LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Kevin Durant, or any other active player.



He reportedly makes $100 million a year from Nike royalties alone. LeBron is estimated to make less than $90 million a year, including salary and endorsements.

Read more: Michael Jordan still makes $100 million a year off his sneaker deal

Source: Forbes



That's way more than he made in salary while he played. He earned $93.8 million TOTAL in NBA salary, and $63.3 million of that came in his final two seasons with the Chicago Bulls.

Source: Spotrac and Basketball-Reference



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

This is everything Cristiano Ronaldo eats and drinks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

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Cristiano Ronaldo diet

Few people on the planet are unaware of Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Real Madrid and Portugal national team striker is one of the best soccer players in the world. He has five Ballon d'Or awards, four Champions League titles, and even helped his country win the UEFA European Championship in 2016.

Ronaldo is incredibly gifted. He is one of the fittest, most athletic sportsmen in world football today. To maintain an edge over his opponents, he has to stay motivated on the training ground — and ensure he eats right. 

We looked into what the world's biggest soccer star eats and drinks to stay on top of his game.

Here's everything Ronaldo has for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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This is Cristiano Ronaldo, the powerful 33-year-old forward who plays for one of the best teams in the world — Real Madrid. This season alone he has scored 40 goals from 38 appearances in La Liga and Champions League competitions and is set to contest another Champions League final on May 26.



Ronaldo does not deprive himself of good food even though he is a world class athlete. Judging from this photo he is a big fan of continental-style breakfasts, featuring pastries, cold cuts, European cheeses, and fresh fruit — all washed down with a latte and juice.

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Source: Instagram.



Being Portuguese, and specifically hailing from Madeira, Ronaldo has a taste for fruits and juices, according to Portugal national team chef Luis Lavrador. The chef says Ronaldo's preferences include "pear, apple, or pineapple juice" but he is also "very fond of coffee."

Source: Le10Sport.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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