A 9,000-square-foot home belonging to a Silicon Valley-based financier has just hit the market for $28 million. 

The steep listing price is not uncommon for Atherton, a ritzy Silicon Valley town that has been named America's most expensive zip code by Forbes for two years in a row. The median listing price for a single-family home in Atherton is a whopping $9.03 million.

The house sits on nearly three acres of land, complete with a guest house, pool, tennis court, and expansive gardens.

Carol MacCorkle of Pacific Union International has the listing.

The Tudor-style home sits on 2.87 acres of very green land.

Inside you'll find big fireplaces and some heavily patterned furniture.

According to the listing, all furniture is negotiable with the sale.

A quirky apartment in an exclusive co-op building on Manhattan's east side is on the market for $12.75 million, according to Curbed.

The River House was built in 1931 in an art deco style. Until 2013, the co-op board forbid listings to include the name of the building or its address. It's also turned away a number of applicants, including Richard Nixon, Diane Keaton, Joan Crawford, and Gloria Vanderbilt.

The apartment is located on the 14th floor and has a terrace that overlooks the East River.

Sotheby's realtor Nikki E. Field has the listing.

Behold the gates of the River House, one of Manhattan's most exclusive co-op buildings.

Don't let its secluded East Side address fool you —the notoriously snooty co-op board ensures that only the wealthiest and most well-connected New Yorkers move in to the venerable tower. Until 2013, the board banned mention of the building's name or its address in broker listings.

An exclusive off-street private cobblestone driveway with a fountain takes you up to the residence building.

Learn how to combine different colors when choosing your clothes for work in the morning.

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It started out as a joke. “Hey, Airstream wants to lend us a fancy touring van for a week. What should we do with it?,” said Matt DeBord, Business Insider's transportation editor.

“I don’t know, man,” I said. “Maybe I’ll live in it. It’s probably nicer than my apartment.”

And with that it was done. I had spoken without thinking, my mother’s cardinal sin. As much as I tried to backpedal, I was going to live in a van down by the river — a joke I now never want to hear again — for a week.

I found myself on the following Monday morning sitting on a bench outside my tiny Greenpoint, Brooklyn, apartment, waiting for the van. 

Monday

My first impression of the 2015 Airstream Interstate Grand Tour EXT Touring Coach was, Damn, this thing is huge. The Grand Tour, which is basically a tricked-out 24-foot-long Mercedes Sprinter Van, is also a huge challenge to park, as I learned watching the nice folks who dropped it off try to do in a small space in front of my building.

Then I climbed inside. This beast of a van had everything.

Two TVs! Two sinks! A normal-size bed! Granite countertops! No way — a microwave! These thoughts ran through my mind so fast that I almost missed the retractable awning, which can be extended from the van to provide shade for barbecues and the like.

At $153,000, the Interstate Grand Tour is the product of a 10-year partnership with Mercedes Benz and Airstream, in an effort to modernize and refine the Airstream brand. Airstream builds their luxury vans on MB chassis, and MB sells them at their dealerships.

The van has a gas-powered generator, propane, and water tank, all of which allow for pretty much self-sustained living, even when the van’s engine isn’t on. There was an onboard heater and air-conditioner, a refrigerator and a freezer, a two-burner stovetop, several tables, and as much storage as you could ever want.

While it's meant for traveling and road-tripping in luxury, the van felt like a tiny apartment on wheels.

This might be fun, I thought.

I drove around for 20 minutes trying to find a parking space that wasn’t in front of a fire hydrant, and then activated the bed and tested out my sleeping arrangements. The bed, which mechanically folded down from a bench seat, was roughly king-size, if a bit shorter. I’m a tall guy, so I had to position myself diagonally. Seatbelt clips poked me in my back. I looked up and saw my breath hang in the air of the cold van. Outside, the loud sounds of industrial Greenpoint buzzed away. I started having second thoughts.

I headed into the office and passed around my phone to show photos to all my coworkers, who were impressed by "Helen," my grandmother's name and the name I'd given the van. And I began to dread the evening ahead of me. 

“Excited for your first big night in the van?” one person asked.

“Oh, yeah — can’t wait!” I said, lying.

After work, I got dinner with friends. We finished off a round of after-dinner drinks, and my companions looked like they were thinking about heading home. But I begged them to stay. Anything to put off the inevitable tossing and turning and poking from metal objects.

Several rounds later, I shuffled off to my new van-away-from-home. I turned on the heater, which was much louder than I'd expected, grabbed the thin blanket left for me, folded down my bed, and drifted off to a light, dreamless sleep.

Tuesday

Confession time: After tossing and turning for five hours, I snuck home to sleep an extra two hours in my warm, soft bed. So sue me.

After I arrived at work and once again faced myriad questions from coworkers, it became increasingly clear to me that the curiosity wouldn't stop until I returned the van, and that I was in for the long haul.

I decided to man up and commit to van life.

After work I swung by the grocery store, then went home to pack a bag and grab some DVDs for the onboard TVs. I unloaded my gear and settled in, stretching my legs and getting a real lay of the land. I could almost stand up straight in the van, but found that being six-two had me constantly hunched over for fear of smashing my head on some object on the ceiling. I tested out all the seats, turned on the radio loud, and opened all the drawers and storage spaces.

This thing was starting to feel more homey.

I cooked Italian sausages in one of the pans that came with the van. It’s harder than you would imagine to cook on a stovetop that's pitched slightly downward because of the parking space you've chosen. Also, I worried about the smoke coming from the pan. Luckily, there was a small air vent in the ceiling.
 

After microwaving a paper bowl full of canned chili (bachelor life at its finest), I settled down at one of the foldout tables and attempted to pop in a DVD. It was then that I realized what I thought was a DVD player was Blu-ray. Seriously, who has Blu-ray discs laying around?

Since I had no form of entertainment, I ate my food, made my bed, and turned in early. (It’s amazing how much more a place can feel like a home when you make the bed.)

Wednesday

I woke up better rested and attempted to take a shower in the bathroom, which converts into a shower stall. I fiddled with the many knobs and switches in the van, but couldn't figure out how to get the water to get hot. I shrugged it off and headed to work, knowing any odors emanating from me could be written off because of my living situation.

But first, I had to find a new parking space as my current one had to be vacated for street cleaning. Driving around my neighborhood early in the morning was oddly relaxing and a great way to start a day. I sort of wished I could do it every day. Sort of. 

During the planning stage of my adventure, when I thought living in a van was a brilliant idea, my editors told me I had to host a party in my new digs. “What a funny picture that will be!” they told me. Since then, I had been floating the idea to my friends, luring them with promises of free Brie and sparkling cider.

But my reminder texts to friends not to forget my van party that evening went unanswered. I began to sweat. The hours at my desk ticked by. Work ended and I headed to the van, where I nervously set up.

The text started to come in.

“Sorry, I have to work late!” one flaky friend replied.

“So, you’re asking me to come hang out in a van? Can’t we just go to a bar?” asked another. 

I began to realize that this party might not happen. “C'mon, man, you know I have to do this for work,” I said.

When nine o'clock rolled around, I started thinking of other ways to spend the evening.

Have you ever ordered a pizza on Seamless, but instead of putting an address into the prompt you give directions to the nearest cross streets and type Look for the huge silver van and knock hard?

I can tell you it’s weird. But thanks to the marvels of modern technology and a brave delivery guy, I got my small pepperoni an hour later.

Still Blu-ray-less, I read a book, caught up on some emails, and did some cleaning. Full of pizza, I headed to bed. I knew the drill, and had even found a position to avoid any uncomfortable plastic pieces. The hum of the heater was now more like a white-noise machine. I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the open road.

Thursday

Still couldn't get the shower to work, which was bad news since I had planned a date in the van, another promise to my editors.

I set up my laptop to do some work. Today was the day where I attempted to “work from van.” I can’t remember if I was told there would be Wi-Fi, but after a few minutes fiddling with the front dash computer, I gave up and used my iPhone as a hotspot.

Spotty service aside, working from the van wasn't so bad. It's nice to be able to drive your office to the coffee shop when you run out of java.

With the curtains drawn and headphones on to drown out the outside noise, the back of the van became a fortress of solitude. Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for my date.

Like any respectable gentleman, I picked up my date in my new ride. Once we got over the sheer novelty of the situation, we decided to take advantage of it and drive somewhere new. We decided on City Island, a tiny fishing enclave in the Bronx. We both wanted some crab cakes and clam chowder.

Driving Helen long distances turned out not to be as scary as I'd imagined. The rearview mirror is a video feed from a camera in the back, so the tail is easily viewable. There’s a sensor around the perimeter of the car, so that when any solid object comes within a certain distance of the van, a beeping noise goes off. Once I got over the fact that I was driving a 24-foot-long rolling home on the FDR, I started to enjoy it.

After getting lost on Randalls Island, we made it to our destination. (The looks we got as we drove down the main drag were priceless.) Crab cakes consumed, we then got lost again, this time in Queens for an hour. Again, being a gentleman, I dropped my date off at her place.

Then I drove Helen back to the outskirts of Greenpoint and parked her for the night next to a warehouse. As I settled into my fold-down seat bed for the last time, it felt much more comfortable. The van was growing on me.

Friday

The sun shone through the curtains in the window, waking me up early. It was my last day in Helen. I took one last ceremonial lap around my neighborhood before heading into work, giving her a pat on her door before leaving. 

It was fittingly raining when I returned to the van to hand over the keys to the guy from the loaner company. As I watched the silver beast drive off without me on board, I felt a pang of sadness in my heart. I hope we meet again someday, Helen.

The Verdict

The truth is, given the choice of living in the van or living in my apartment, no matter how small and old, I would choose the apartment. Even though the van grew on me rapidly, becoming like a second home, the comforts of my first home — with its real bed, bathroom, shower, and couch — still win.

Over the course of five days the van did begin to feel cozy. It became less like camping and more like living. Matt Foley, the "Saturday Night Live" character who lived in a van down by the river could do much worse than this van, with its state-of-the-art amenities and ample living space.

And if I were on a cross-country road trip, I would choose this vehicle in a heartbeat. I'd love to borrow Helen.

Maybe that will be my next story.

SEE ALSO: This App Developer Turned A Ford Van Into A Fantastic Mobile Office Space

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Making your employee feel valued and your spouse feel loved both depend on the same thing: significance. 

As couples psychologist Peter Pearson explains to Business Insider, a huge part of your job as a manager or mate is to make the other person feel important. 

Because all too often, people feel insignificant, with potentially dire results. 

He sees it all the time at the Couples Institute, his relationship counseling practice in Menlo Park, California, the heart of Silicon Valley. 

"The people that come in that work for big tech companies like Cisco and IBM talk a lot about feeling like they don't have much influence, affect, or impact," he says. "They really do feel like a small cog in a really big machine. The psychological effect of that is they don't feel very significant in their endeavors." 

The desire to feel significant, Pearson says, is "huge." 

You can see it when people retire. After six months of traveling, playing golf, and visiting the grandkids, recent retirees often start to feel downcast, he says. It's especially bad for men, whose depression rates spike in retirement. 

Making your partner or direct report feel important is often a matter of specifying how and why their efforts are valued.

"If my wife Ellyn says to me, 'I really appreciate your making dinner,' then I say, 'OK thanks,'" Pearson explains. "But if she says, 'I appreciate your making dinner, because then I don't have to think about what to make, I feel nurtured, and I can relax,'" then it makes the whole making dinner thing all the more meaningful. 

That need for significance and feeling valued is crucial to well-being at work, too. It's clear in the way people stick around or flee from jobs: According to one American Psychological Association survey, nearly half of people who don't feel valued at work are planning to find a new job in the next year. 

That's the lesson for managers (and romantic partners): If you want to make the other person feel valued and significant, explain how their actions help everybody involved. 

"When the meaning of something is clear, when the why is clear, it's easier to respond to requests," Pearson says. "It makes you feel like you are part of a team." 

SEE ALSO: 9 Facts About Relationships Everybody Should Know Before Getting Married

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Most of us are aware that staring at a screen all day makes our eyes feel dry, tired, and irritated — with potentially harmful longterm consequences — but we also know that our jobs frequently require us to sit in front of a computer.

Our smartphones, televisions, and tablets also end up consuming a fair amount of our leisure time, piling on more eye-exhausting (and damaging) time.

We've even got a new term that describes this phenomenon and its eventual consequences: digital eye strain, sometimes called "computer vision syndrome." That describes the eye discomfort as well as the total destruction of posture that we experience after being positioned in front of a computer all day.

And while yes, it'd probably be best for our eyes, bodies, and minds if we all spent the majority of the day outdoors on our feet, we all know that isn't going to happen anytime soon.

So here are 5 things you can do to counteract the physical problems caused by staring at your computer, recommended by medical experts at the Vision Council and in medical reviews on the topic:

• Blink. When we stare at screens, we forget to blink, which dries out our eyes. It's hard to remember, but trying to make sure you keep blinking can help. Eyedrops are another simple and useful way to keep eyes from getting too dry.
• Increase the size of text when needed. Staring at small text can make you squint and put your face closer to a screen, leading to fatigue and headaches, among other issues — so boost text size and color contrast to make things easier to read.
• The 20-20-20 rule: After 20 minutes of work, take 20 seconds to look at something 20 feet away. Your eyes have muscles that help them move and focus on different objects, but if we stare at a screen the same distance away for hours at a time, those muscles have a hard time adjusting once we move again. This is what can cause that end-of-the-day fuzziness, so prevent it by looking around every so often.
• Limit blue-light exposure in the first place. This can be a tough one, but there are a few things that can help. Simply taking breaks from the screen is useful, by scheduling meetings or organizing some of your work so that it can be done on paper. In some cases, anti-glare filters, computer glasses, and apps that block some blue light can help as well.
• Position your monitor in the right place. Keep your computer monitor about 35 to 40 inches away (further than you might expect), with the center of the screen about 5 inches below eye level. This positioning is associated with the lowest levels of visual strain, and it'll also prevent the neck and back pain that come along with computer vision syndrome.

FOR MORE ON WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT: 95% Of Americans Risk Eye Problems By Staring At Screens All Day

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No home gym is complete without a good elliptical trainer.

The experts at FindTheBest helped us find the best ellipticals on the market so you can work out in the comfort of your own home. The rankings are based on FTB's Smart Rating scale, which accounts for ratings, warranty, features, and specifications. 

Here are the best elliptical trainers money can buy.

10. Smooth Fitness CE 9.5 ($3,999)

The Smooth Fitness CE 9.5 has 24 resistance levels, a maximum stride length of 25 inches, and can accommodate up to 400 pounds. The maximum incline is 19 degrees and the elliptical comes with 35 fitness program options.

9. Smooth Fitness AGILE DMT X2 ($1,899)

The technology of the Smooth Fitness AGILE DMT X2 makes sure users' toes are in front of their knees for a more natural step and eliminates pressure and strain on their knees. The display keeps track of seven different features, including calories burned and distance.

8. Yowza Captiva ($1,805)

Take strides spanning up to 28 inches on the Yowza Captiva. The incline can be set as steep as 50 degrees, and the machine comes with entertainment features like a book rack, speakers, cup holders, and iPod compatibility.

7. Vision XF40 Touch ($3,399)

The Vision XF40 Touch comes with 17 programs and a full-color touchscreen that monitors seven fitness factors including strides per minute and heart rate. The elliptical trainer has 20 resistance levels.

6. Spirit Fitness XE295 ($1,599)

Hit your target heart rate with the Spirit Fitness XE295's wireless chest strap and grip sensors. The elliptical can support up to 400 pounds and comes with 10 programs.

5. Sole Fitness E35 ($1,300)

The Sole Fitness E35 costs less than the average elliptical trainer and has great features like a cooling fan and adjustable stride length. It comes with 20 resistance levels and can withstand up to 375 pounds.

4. Yowza Sanibel i35 ($1,999)

The Yowza Sanibel i35 has a maximum stride length of 26 inches and an incline up to 35 degrees. The elliptical comes with user IDs which allows you to customize and save your workout. 

3. Precor EFX 835 ($7,495)

The Precor EFX 835 comes with 15 programs including cross training, intervals, and the Navy fitness test. The Quickstart machine has nine data readouts so you can track factors like calories burned and incline. When you finish your workout, you can check your workout summary to stay on track with your fitness goals.

2. TRUE ES900 Escalate ($4,499)

The TRUE ES900 Escalate has a long maximum stride length of 27 inches, making this elliptical especially beneficial for taller people. It comes with 33 programs including hill workouts, weight loss workouts, and a Cardio 360 Total Body Workout. The elliptical allows you to entertain yourself during your workout with the reading rack, tablet holder, and headphone jack.

1. Yowza Islamorada ($2,999)

Shape your lower body and abs with the Yowza Islamorada elliptical. Feel the burn with an incline up to 60 degrees, and strides as long as 30 inches while you sculpt your abs with the SuperCore™ rotating hand grips. Customize your workout with the user ID and target different muscle groups with the 21 programs. The Yowza Islamorada allows you to efficiently get in your full body workout. 

SEE ALSO: The 10 Best Skis On The Market

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Check out this brilliant anonymous chart that's been getting passed around for years, and then keep reading for analysis:

This chart also appears in "The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business," a 2014 bestseller by INSEAD professor Erin Meyer.

Meyer explain that what's happening can be explained by looking the evaluation spectrum (one of 8 scales that explain cultural interactions):

The British are inclined toward relatively indirect negative feedback. The rest of Europe is inclined toward relatively direct negative feedback.

Similarly hilarious and/or awkward communication gaps happen any time people from different ends of those cultural scales interact with each other without being aware of their differences.

SEE ALSO: Here's what happens when you say something ironic to an American

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The Business Insider lifestyle and retail team compared the quality and look of three popular yoga pants brands: Lululemon, Athleta, and Reebok. Which is the best fit? And which one is the best value?

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When Markus Persson, or "Notch," as he's known in the gaming community, created Minecraft in 2009, he had no idea how drastically it would change his life. 

The game, which allows players to build and interact with an easy-to-use, Lego-like digital environment, has been downloaded more than 100 million times.

And after Microsoft bought Mojang, the studio responsible for creating Minecraft, Persson's net worth soared to an estimated $1.5 billion. 

"Well, on one hand I don’t mind having loads of money at all," he said in a Reddit AMA in 2013. "On the other, it’s a bit strange that I can create something once and keep getting paid over and over and over for it. If you build a car, you can only sell it once. If you paint a fence, you only get paid for it once. If you create a piece of software that’s essentially free to reproduce, you can keep getting paid over and over perpetually."

Notch leads a lifestyle to match his newfound wealth, one that's filled with private jets, EDM concerts, and multimillion-dollar mansions.

Persson was born on June 1, 1979 in Edsbyn, a rural town north of Stockholm. He taught himself to code and was hired as a programmer at a web-design company when he was just 18.

Source: Rolling Stone

It took him just a week to design Minecraft, which explains the crude appearance of the game's graphics. "I just wanted to make a game that could make enough money to make another game," he told Rolling Stone. Notch released the alpha version of Minecraft in May of 2009. As time went on, he added more and more features to the game, allowing players to build and explore increasingly complicated Lego-style worlds.

Source: Forbes

Even before it was released as a full game, Minecraft was a huge hit. In September 2010, Persson and best friend Jakob Porser founded a video game company they called Mojang, to help them develop Minecraft and other games. Carl Menneh was brought on as CEO.

Source: Forbes

Nowadays, most of us sign our names on checks and documents in plain ol’ cursive.

But some signatures are way better than others, whether they’re elaborate illustrations, cool designs, or simply gorgeous handwriting.

In honor of National Handwriting Day, we’ve chosen the 17 famous people with the coolest signatures in all of history. Keep scrolling to see the signatures, from legendary Argentinian soccer player Diego Maradona to German artist Albrecht Dürer.

NOW WATCH: How To Take Control Of Your Mind And Focus Better

DON'T MISS: 7 Simple Steps To Improve Your Handwriting

SEE ALSO: Here's Proof That Learning Cursive Makes You Smarter

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Jan. 23 is National Handwriting Day — a great excuse to put away your smartphone and explore the lost art of penmanship.

What does your handwriting say about you?

Graphology, the science of analyzing handwriting for personality traits, has been around since the days of Aristotle. Today, it's used for a variety of purposes, from criminal investigations to understanding your health. Someemployers even use handwriting analysis to screen potential employees for compatibility.

We talked to master graphologistKathi McKnight about what the seemingly insignificant details in your writing say about your personality. "Just from analyzing your handwriting, experts can find over 5,000 personality traits," she says. 

McKnight readily admits that the information she provides below is a basic overview, so it won't apply to everyone in every situation. Yet these factors can reveal aspects about yourself that you may not have considered before. 

Start by writing out a sentence. We suggest: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." Then, keep reading to see what your handwriting says about you.

This is an update of an article reported by Maggie Zhang.

SEE ALSO: The Best Jobs For Every Personality Type

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On Sunday February 1st most of America will put on their elastic pants and celebrate a true national day of partying — The Super Bowl.

Here in New York City, however, unless you're hiding inside your apartment, you may want to put on a little something that — while loose fitting — won't embarrass you in front of others after the game.

In New York City, once the Super Bowl is over, it's time to go out and truly party. 

There are tons of options for how you can get your football on at home or outside, so Business Insider decided to e-mail around to some NYC spots we figured would be blowing the Bowl out. 

Here's what we found:

Two big NYC steakhouses will help you throw your own Super Bowl party in grand fashion.

BLT Steak is doing a $350 'Luxe Tailgate to Go' package for 4-6 people that includes Ribeye Cheesesteaks, Black Truffle Twice-Baked Potatoes, Short Rib Chili and more. Chef Luke Venner also will send you a recipe for a cocktail pairing. 

There's another menu for those who only wish to spend a puny $65 a person (for at least 4 people). Whichever menu you choose, place your order by January 28th.

If all of that seems too mild for you, one of the oldest steakhouses in Manhattan, Old Homestead, may have you covered. The restaurant is offering a $4,900 wing spread with chicken wing smothered in rich $65 per pound Foie Gras, chicken wing covered in $1,600 per ounce Royal Ossetra Caviar, and last but hardly least, a mammoth mouthwatering $400 per pound imported Japanese Kobe filet mignon "wing" on the bone, marinated in $1,100-a-bottle imported Japanese Tokubetsu Daiginjyou Kamutachi sake.

“It’s all about the wings on Super Bowl Sunday, so we’re taking a Super Bowl staple to the next level,” said co-owner Greg Sherry. “The ultimate wings for the ultimate game, and with advertisers paying $8 million for a 60-second commercial (last year’s rate), our $4,900 wings are a bargain – and a first-time culinary wing experience."

Also $490 of every package sold is going to Seattle Seahawks Quarterback Russell Wilson’s “Why Not You” Foundation which raises awareness and helps victims of domestic violence.

Now for those of you who want a rowdier atmosphere, the gentle people of Strategic Group have you covered.

While much of the Strategic team will be recovering from Maxim's Saturday night party featuring the Marquee VIP experience in Arizona, or setting off the weekend-long pop-up party at Cake nightclub and Tao also in Arizona, some will remain in New York City to hold down the fort.

And that fort will be at PHD at the Dream Hotel Downtown starting at 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. You'll have your 60'' flat screens and your sliders and other Super Bowl snacks, but you'll also have DJ Dimitry Mak spinning and the promise that things will get weird after the game is over.

Click here for table reservations.

Godspeed.

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During our trip to the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, we sat down with Cooper Hefner, who has been tapped by the company his father founded to act as a brand ambassador. Cooper grew up in the Playboy Mansion and was exposed to the world of Playmates from an early age. 

We were surprised to find out that he has a perspective on monogamy and relationships that couldn't be further from that of his dad, who famously enjoyed multiple girlfriends at the same time.

Produced by Graham Flanagan

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Beats co-founder Jimmy Iovine is in the process of making a serious real estate upgrade. The music mogul has quietly purchased the Malibu home of television producer Marcy Carsey in a secret, off-market deal, Curbed LA has confirmed. 

The sale price was a cool $60 million. Variety first reported the rumored purchase last week.

Carsey bought the home from Richard Gere for $10 million in 1995.

The three-bedroom home is made up of two parcels totalling nearly four acres of land. 

In addition to the main house, which is perched on top of a bluff near Paradise Cove, there's also a small beach hut and a recently renovated lagoon-style pool.

There's also a tennis pavilion situated closer to the main road.

Iovine currently lives in a 15,000-square-foot mansion in Los Angeles' Holmby Hills neighborhood. He purchased the home for $7 million in 1998, according to Variety.

SEE ALSO: The Fabulous Life Of Notch, The Hard-Partying Founder Of Minecraft

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While new research shows that getting and staying married is one of the best things you can do for yourself, it's an unavoidably complex and difficult endeavor.

Take it from Peter Pearson, therapist and cofounder of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California.

"In all marriages, you have so many interdependent interactions, from roles and responsibilities in the house to emotional and sexual aspects of the relationship," he tells Business Insider. "Your future is really tied to each other in so many ways."

But that shared future can go off course if couples get stuck in an unhealthy pattern of behavior.

"That's when they come to us," Pearson says.

He says that 60% of the couples who come to his practice are stuck in one of two toxic dynamics: conflict-avoidant and hostile-dependent.

Each of these dynamics isn't much fun to be in, for very different reasons: 

• A conflict-avoidant dynamic is defined by fear. "For both people, the emotional risk of speaking up outweighs the potential benefit of bringing things up to the surface and working through them," Pearson says. As a result, "you contort yourself to be acceptable to your partner so they won't reject you or leave you," he says. "Each person compromises their wishes, their desires, their identity — the things that make them themselves."

• A hostile-dependent dynamic is defined by conflict. In this case, each person is "in a competition to be right," Pearson says. There's "lots of finger-pointing and blaming," he says, all in an attempt to take control. The underlying assumption is that if you can define "the problem with the relationship," then you can get the other person to shape up, and you'll finally get some relief.

But the drama masks what these behaviors really are: coping mechanisms that come out as a couple spends more and more time together.

"Most couples start off wanting to be nice to each other, good to each other, responsive to each other," Pearson says. "As differences begin to emerge in the other person's value system, then each person will start to fall back on their reflex coping mechanism. If I'm really conflict avoidant, then I'm not going to surface my disagreement because I don't want to risk a conflict, so I start compromising myself."

If the relationship is to move forward, each partner will have to go through the uncomfortable process of differentiation, where each person has to identify their values and communicate them to the other person — all while recognizing that their partner will have different values from their own. 

That can lead to a breakthrough — or a breakup.

Differentiation starts when one person decides "to take on the risk of speaking up and in a sense start fighting for their rights," Pearson says. "They get tired of compromising themselves, so they say, 'I don't care, I have to start speaking up, even if my spouse leaves me. I don't care, I will find a way to exist on my own.'"

SEE ALSO: Psychologists Say You Need These 3 Compatibilities To Have A Successful Marriage

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China has a complicated relationship with golf. 

The sport was banned under Mao in the 1940s through the ‘80s for being a millionaires’ hobby. It wasn’t until 1984 that the first golf course in China was even constructed, and then 20 years later in 2004, building new golf courses was banned.

Of course, that hasn’t stopped developers from doing it anyway. In 2004 there were 176 courses, and now 10 years and one moratorium later, there are over 1,000. 

One of the first and certainly the largest is the Mission Hills Golf Club. Comprising two resorts in Shenzhen and Gongguan, it is the largest golf club in the world with 12 courses, all designed by famous golfers.

Mission Hills also built Mission Hills Haiku, another luxury golf club located on the resort island of Hainan — one of the only places in China exempt from the ban on building new golf courses.

Between these three wellness resorts, Mission Hills has hosted 100 international tournaments and sprawls across 15.5 square miles. Mission Hills Golf Club is the “World’s Largest Golf Club” and Mission Hills Haiku has the “World’s Largest Spa and Mineral Springs,” according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Though it's located in a country with a hot-and-cold relationship with golf, Mission Hills Group has designed some incredible courses.

Welcome to Mission Hills Dongguan club, the first of the Mission Hills golf courses and one of the largest in the world.

Needless to say, it's pretty impressive. This is a view of the clubhouse.

In addition to golf, Dongguan has 51 tennis courts and a professional academy — the largest in Asia.

Three crew members were rescued from their sinking Irish fishing vessel called Iuda Naofa. The crew was airlifted from their ship off the coast of Scotland and they were flown to Stornoway to be treated for mild hypothermia.

Two of the crew made it to a life raft before the ship sunk and were rescued by the Iuda Naofa's sister ship unharmed.

Produced by Jason Gaines. Video courtesy of Associated Press.

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A measles outbreak at Disneyland has raised new concerns about vaccinations.

In 2014 there were over 600 cases of measles reported in the US – the highest number since 1994. According to the Center for Disease Control's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, most of the people who got measles were unvaccinated.

Why are parents choosing not to vaccinate their kids? We take a look at the problem from a game-theory perspective. 

Produced by Sara Silverstein and Alex Kuzoian

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BI Answers: How much sleep do you really need?

Sleep takes up one-third of our lives, but it puzzles us so much.

Many of us are tired all the time — 40% of Americans sleep less than the recommended seven to nine hours, and according to a recent poll by the National Sleep Foundation, 35% of Americans say their sleep quality is "poor" or "only fair."

If you type "why can't I" into Google search, sleep is one of the top three things that comes up, along with getting a job and losing weight — our anxieties are reflected by our internet confidante.

But how much sleep do we really need?

First, let's get the bad news out of the way: there isn't going to be a one size fits all answer — sleep needs really do vary from person to person.

You could be one of those incredibly rare people that can actually get by on a few hours of sleep a night (almost definitely not), or you could be on the opposite end of the spectrum, what doctors refer to as a "long sleeper," who might need 11 hours a night.

But there are some things we do know about sleep, and these can help you figure out how much sleep you actually need — and how to better get a night's rest.

Here are five facts that will help you figure out what your personal sleep patterns are and how they compare to the rest of the population.

1. There's a reason that doctors usually recommend seven to nine hours of sleep.

The amount of sleep that people need falls into a bell curve type distribution, with the vast majority of the population needing between seven and nine hours of rest each night to be refreshed.

The chart to the right, from the book "Internal Time: Chronotypes, Social Jet Lag, and Why You're So Tired" by German chronobiologist Till Roenneberg, shows the general distribution of sleep needs. (Chronobiology is the science of our internal clocks.)

2. You have a natural chronotype, or body clock, that determines when you are most comfortable sleeping and being awake.

The most recent research suggests that there are actually four natural chronotypes.

There are night owls, most comfortable being awake and alert later on in the day and into the night (hello, my people); "larks," otherwise known as morning people; and two groups with schedules in between. Both of those groups like to sleep a little later than the larks and go to bed earlier than the owls, but one of those two groups feels sluggish both morning and evening while the other has high energy levels at both times.

If your schedule isn't aligned with your chronotype, you are more likely to feel tired and out of sync.

3. The amount of sleep you need changes throughout your life.

The seven to nine hour recommendation is standard for adults, but kids need much more sleep, while some older people need less.

This chart by the National Sleep Foundation shows how these requirements change as kids grow up.

In addition to length of sleep needs changing, chronotypes change throughout life as well.

According to Roenneberg's book, young children naturally tend to be more morning oriented. Around puberty, they're more likely to shift into a night owl chronotype, which tends to shift back to an earlier chronotype after age 20.

4. There are some things you can do to adjust your natural chronotype.

While your sleep needs (both chronotype and length) are mostly genetic and can't really be adjusted, there are certain things you can do to adjust your schedule and at least make it a bit easier to get up earlier.

Our bodies respond to light, especially the powerful natural light of the sun. Being exposed to that light in the morning tells our body that it's time to be alert and moving. At night, sitting in the dark stimulates the production of the hormone melatonin, which helps us relax and fall asleep (we mess with this process by looking at bright light from smartphones).

But we can adjust this to a degree by controlling our exposure to light. This process, called entrainment, is what our bodies have to do when we go to a different time zone — this is why we get jet lagged. But we can also use this to train our bodies to get up and go to sleep earlier by exposing ourselves to natural light in the morning and avoiding bright light at night.

This won't turn you into a morning person, but it can make prying the covers loose just a little less painful.

5. Your sleep needs are personal; try to figure out what works for you.

Sometimes new research will come out, and people will claim something like "studies have found that seven hours is the optimal amount of sleep — not eight."

But as interesting as any sleep research is, we do know that people are different and have different needs. The findings of a study don't translate into recommendations for everyone. In the case of sleep, experts recommend figuring out what personally works best for you.

If you can let yourself sleep naturally for a few days to a week, going to bed when you are tired and waking up whenever is natural, preferably while limiting alcohol and caffeine, you'll have a better idea of your individual needs. Get some sun during the day, along with some exercise.

If you do all that but still have trouble sleeping, it might be time to talk to a doctor. You could be one of the large percentage of the population with undiagnosed sleep apnea, especially if you snore. Or you could have some other disorder that can be addressed.

It's worth taking the time to figure out what you can do to sleep better though. There are some incredible benefits to getting better sleep.

This post is part of a continuing series that answers all of your questions related to science. Have your own question? Email science@businessinsider.com with the subject line "Q&A"; tweet your question to @BI_Science; or post to our Facebook page.

SEE ALSO: 9 Easy Tips For Waking Up Earlier And More Refreshed

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